It was a horribly slow news week. Not going to lie. Then Charlie Crist goes ahead and dumps something we could have squeezed an entire week of posts out of on a Friday. You sly, media savvy bastard.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
- While Charlie Crist sits in Tallahassee serving out the reaming days as Governor he'll clutch one half of a "BFF" heart necklace and know somewhere in DC the man he appointed to senate is holding the other half. All of this, after asking just about anyone to apply for the job.
- Fidel Castro came out of seclusion and claimed the right wing will block President Obama every chance they can get because of his skin color. Of course, he pays no mind to the troubling history of racism in Cuba. You dis us, Castro, we dis you.
- People got angry at us for some political things this week: Namely that we dared to question the intent of Glenn Beck inspired protestors and wrote a satirical listicle about Michael E. Arth, the best candidate for Governor you've never heard of.
- Michael Beasley got a horrible tattoo, and then headed to Rehab. The Heat have done some dumb things recently, but hopefully they'll handle this situation correctly.
- Three words: Penis. Mouthed. Shark.
- Three other words: Weird. Topless. Chicks.
- We keep poking Carlos Alvarez, but he won't be our Facebook friend. Probably because he's too busy handing out big, fat pay raises to his cronies.
- The Hurricanes lost two back-up QBs this week. Don't get hurt Jacory, but if you happen to during the first game their won't be a sell-out crowd to watch you. Oh, and hey, look at this, another Hurricane rap.