Mugshots Friday: Allergic to Broke

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that...

By Kyle Munzenrieder

May 30, 2014

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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 5/29

Charges: Cocaine Trafficking and Firearm Possession by A Convicted Felon

In case you can't read the words underneath the $100 bill tattoo, they say "Allergic to Broke." Clearly though the man has a high tolerance to very bad taste.

Arrested: 5/24

Charges: Disorderly Conduct, Solicitation of Business of a Sidewalk, Driving with License Suspended

As far as neck tattoos go, that's a pretty good neck tattoo. Pretty good jacket and pretty good hair too. Just a pretty good overall mugshot really. Good for you, guy.

Arrested: 5/23

Charges: Cannabis Possession and Trespassing in a School Safety Zone

Meanwhile, this guy has half of a Marge Simpson hairdo going on. Seriously.

Arrested: 5/29

Charges: Cocaine Possession and Resisting and Officer with Battery to His Person

This is actually one of those makeup ads where they only paint half the person's face to show you the before and after on a model.

Arrested: 5/28

Charges: Petit Theft and Grand Theft Third Degree

Up in the north they determine how many weeks of winter they have left by whether a groundhog sees its shadow. Down here in Miami we determine when summer officially starts by the first mesh tank top in the mugshot roundups to show up each year. Happy summer!

Arrested: 5/28

Charges: Disorderly Conduct and Battery on an Officer

Disorderly conduct. Overly orderly eyebrows.

Arrested: 5/29

Charges: Cocaine Possession

Is there anything more fun than an old man, his wifebeater, his dyed jet-black hair and his big gold medallion?

Arrested: 5/28

Charges: Armed Robbery

The face of a high school science teacher. The face tattoos of a failed science experiment.

Arrested: 5/27

Charges: Trespassing and Drug Paraphernalia Possession

A tooth for a tooth.

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