Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series. For mugshots from Broward and Palm Beach, check out The Pulp.
Charged with: Disorderly conduct, disorderly intoxication
You always want to start Mugshots Friday on the right foot. Even if that foot wouldn't come close to the sobriety test line.
Charged with: Grand theft in the third degree
I'm 99 percent sure the cops arrested David Bowie circa 1966. If he'd been caught buying cocaine, I'd be totally sure of it.
Charged with: Aggravated assault
"Hey, you look just like Danny Trejo!" says everyone to this guy, or at least they would, if he didn't crush their skulls the moment they came up to him.
Charged with: Disorderly intoxication
Fly away to a new home, shoulder doves. These lands are no good.
Charged with: Disorderly conduct
Miami-Dade cops are some brave individuals, arresting a man who is a necromancer or at least some kind of low-level dark wizard.
Charged with: Carrying a concealed weapon, resisting arrest
Upside-down A's on your face? Really, man? That's the best you could come up with? Shouldn't tattoo parlors be legally obligated to inform anyone who asks for such a lame design that tattoos are permanent?
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Charged with: Grand theft in the third degree, dealing in stolen property
I guarantee that "Universoul Circle" is the name of some epically awful prog-rock band somewhere.
Charged with: Disorderly intoxication, resisting arrest
Hey man, hang in there, this is almost over. We've just got one to go, and I promise, it's a ...
Charged with: Criminal mischief, resisting arrest
...Oh. Never mind then. Get some shut-eye, buddy.