It's August 24, and you've woken up sweating profusely, feeling vaguely nauseated, and recoiling in horror at the first sight of a campaign ad. The diagnosis? Primary fever! (Or it might be Cat Scratch Fever. Or dengue. But let's go with Primary Fever).
Even for Florida, this has been a primary to take psychotropic drugs in a desperate attempt to forget. Candidates have created brand new ways -- never before conceived by human beings -- to horrify voters and blow elections. They've hired rent-boy abusing ministers, invited Mike Tyson to snort mountains of coke on their yacht trips and led cult-like churches. We can't make this shit up. So instead, we've put together a top five list.