Steve Berke, a YouTube sensation who enjoys dabbling in Miami Beach politics, is on the prowl for kitty. But not any random alley pussy will do. Berke wants a feline with that Grumpy Cat Internet fame "IT" factor. He seeks a cat capable of spawning memes across the World Wide Web and helping his client, sleeping aid drink maker Dream Water, go viral. Berke's going to pay $2,000 to the owner of the cat he chooses for a sexually charged web commercial he's producing.
"The Internet loves cats," Berke says. "We want a cat that has star quality. I won't know until I see him or her."
Here's the set-up:
A handsome, chiseled lifeguard sees a young maiden drowning in the ocean. After rescuing her, he locks eyes with her. Their chemistry is hotter than a July afternoon stuck in traffic on the Palmetto Expressway. The lifeguard tells his new lady friend that his shift is ending and offers her a ride home. "They get to her front door and start making out," Berke relays. "Then, they go inside to her bedroom and start ripping each other's clothes off."
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Now Berke doesn't want to spoil the surprise, but the cat plays an important role in the money shot. "I can't reveal too much," he says. "But the end of the video will be all about the pussy."
Recently retired from stand up comedy, Berke has been building up a respectable following on his YouTube channel with his zany parody videos of popular songs. He has 86,900 subscribers. His most popular video is his parody of Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" called "Pot Shop." The clip has gotten more than 12 million views since Berke posted it in January. Oh, and he's also making another run for mayor of Miami Beach, his hometown. Berke's platform includes decriminalizing marijuana and cracking down on the city's ruthless towing operators, among other fantastic ideas.
Berke says he's holding the Dream Water cat casting on Sunday, August 11, from one to three in the afternoon at a North Miami film studio. Only the first 100 cats to show up will be auditioned. Interested cat owners can contact him at Miami305Casting@gmail.com.
Follow Francisco Alvarado on twitter: @thefrankness.