Mugshots Friday: When an Octupus Attacks

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that...

By Ryan Yousefi

April 12, 2013

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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrest: 4/10
Charges: (None Found)
Cue scene: Dude wakes up on his friend's couch at 12:34 p.m. surrounded by beer cans and a bong. "Yo son last night was cray! Last thing I remember was us playing Truth or Dare, my ass my lit! My face hurts, did we get in a fight last night?"

Arrest: 4/10
Charges: Burglary/Stalking
Clearly the burglary and stalking charges were just a misunderstanding because it's OK, he's just the house sitter.

Arrest: 4/10
Charges: (None Shown)
Kenny Rodgers here was obviously pinched on his way to the store for more Just For Men. That, or he's going for the "Deviled Egg Hair" look.

Arrest: 4/10
Charges: Not Found
Not sure if this is hair, or an octopus attack.

Arrest: 4/10
Charges: Burglary/Theft
Blame it on the Rain, Blame it on the Stars. Whatever you do, don't put the blame on you.

Arrest: 4/10
Charges: Trespassing
What you talkin' bout, Willis?

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Ryan Yousefi, a sports journalist and MBA holder in business healthcare management, has been a dedicated weekly contributor to the Miami New Times since 2013. Beyond his sports journalism career, he's held leadership roles in web3 gaming companies. He enjoys southeast Asia travel, pho, and whiskey, but most of all, being Lincoln's dad.

Contact: Ryan Yousefi

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Twitter: @rizzmiggiz