Did you hear the news? Break out your best ill-fitted, shabby clothing because according to the New York Times, the Elaine Benes look is back! We're not too sure if the Seinfeld star's look was ever in vogue, but considering we're coming down from an '80s revival high -- complete with '80s-style economic downturn -- it only makes sense we find a way to revisit another decade. And why not the '90s? They were awesome: Bill Clinton was president, the economy was healthy, and AOL introduced us to the interwebs.
But why stop at Elaine? There were so many fashion inspirations we can revisit. So in order to brag that we thought of it first, here are our top five '90s fashions that we'd like to see Midwesterners wear after New York, Miami, and Los Angeles are done with them.
Remember the shit you used to wear when you were five and your mom told you you looked super kewt? Well, in the early '90s, females in the grunge musical movement decided it would be awesome to take that look and whore it up. Courtney Love was the icon of this fashion aesthetic, but she took it a step further by looking like she rolled in a bunch of dirt and added a dash a heroin track marks for that perfect "I've been a very bad girl" look.
Chances for a comeback? Very good. Cocaine was all the rage in the 2000s as a sort of compliment to the '80s revival. Seeing how we are trying to emulate the '90s here, heroin might make a comeback as well, and the drug is essential to the look. This also means Kate Moss's heroin chic has a good chance of returning as well.
2. Clueless via Contempo Casuals
The cult classic movie Clueless was as much about the one-liners ("As if!" and "Whatever!") as it was about the fashion. The look really is an evolution of kinderwhore look into a more mainstream and palatable style. Super girly and preppy, the look was really pushed by stores like Contempo Casuals and Wet Seal -- the '90s version of Forever 21.
Chances for a comeback? Good. It all depends on kinderwhore coming back, since this was really an evolution of the grunge look. Still, the polished, preppy look complete with the prep school headbands can already be found on trendy shows like Gossip Girl, so maybe it already came back and we just didn't notice.
3. Backward Jerseys
Hip-hop hooray! This is one look our parents absolute forbade us from donning, saying it was better left to the hoodlums. But Kris Kross's wearing-everything-backwards look took these tween MCs to the top of the Billboard charts in 1992. Unfortunately for them, that's all anyone remembered and they quickly faded into obscurity.
Chances for a comeback? Low. Honestly, we'd like to see it come back just to throw it in our parents' faces that we no longer need their permission for our fashion choices.
4. Blossom's Nerdy Chic
We're going to say it: Blossom's fashion was mostly inspired by a trainwreck of clothing all over her body. It wasn't flattering or cute. It's like you took your grandmother's forgotten wardrobe and put it on a child. People say the '80s were filled with bad fashion choices, but thanks to Blossom, the '90s come a real close second. That being said, how long until
hipsters, er, fauxhemians take this look to make a sort of post-ironic statement?
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
Chances for a comeback? Very good. The potential for irony is high, so the chances it will make a return are almost a guarantee.
5. Crop Tops
Remember the crop top? It was all the rage in the late '90s. Famous people like Drew Barrymore, Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears, and the Spice Girls were fans of exposing their midriffs no matter what the occasion, and soon all of America followed their lead. It also gave rise -- or low rise -- to the Brazilian jeans fad, which dared women to go as low as possible without showing their babymakers. It was like every woman was dressed like a slut. But nobody said anything about it mainly because they were dressed the same way and men were enjoying it too much.
Chances for a comeback? Low. As a nation, we are getting fatter and the crop top requires abs of steel. God forbid we become a nation of exposed muffin tops.