Today is Working Naked Day! But don't get too excited. As much as you want the cute girl from accounting to know that you have a totally sweet tattoo of a hyena using nunchucks while surfing on the back of a giant piranha on your ass, today is not the day to reveal it.
According to Lisa Kanarek, a home office expert and the mind behind the gimmicky holiday, it's "a time to celebrate the perks of working from home -- no boss looking over your shoulder, no gossiping over the water cooler, and no commute." It's also a way for people who work from home to rub our noses in the fact that they can work in the buff and fart freely while us office peeps have to sit in our restricting clothing and down-low fart all day. Not cool, Kanarek. Not cool.
But what about the rebels? The punk-minded folk who give the finger to constricting social standards like clothes, basic hygiene, and the eyeballs of others by showing up to work naked? Do such people exist? They sure do! We dug up five tales of nasty nudists who, much like the honey badger, really didn't give a shit and mixed work with au naturel pleasure. Stories after the jump. And if you're working from home, just make sure you strap on a cup or a bra before proceeding.
Did Jesus work naked?
Back in 2006 a Bay-area carpenter, Percy Honniball, was arrested after a client of his busted the nut of a craftsman building a bookcase buck-naked inside of their home. Honniball's ballsy explanation? He didn't want to soil his clothes when he had to crawl under the same client's home earlier in the day to do electrical work. And why didn't horn-ball Honniball put back on his clothes after the down-under dirty work was complete? Because he claimed that being naked helped him move more freely and prevented him from injury. Correct us if we're wrong, but don't you need a hammer and nails in order to make a bookcase? Those don't sound like the safest materials to have around a free-flapping ding-a-ling. We think it's safe to say this carpenter definitely had a few screws loose.
An office that works naked together, stays together
A marketing firm in the UK stripped down to their knickers in an attempt to boost morale after six employees were laid off. Apparently this experiment, spurred by a business psychologist, made the office more communicative, honest, and super cheeky. (Har.)
Pigs with no blanket
Unless you're at a cheesy Chippendales type of strip club, the thought of a naked cop isn't exactly appealing. And two nude pigs sounds nasty enough to warrant arrest, which is exactly what happened to two cops when they decided to use an unmarked police van to hit up a bachelor party...naked. And why were they naked and hitting up an all-dude party? We're not sure. We read the BBC News article more than once just to make sure we didn't misread anything. And we're positive this incident happened in Australia. Not in ancient Greece.
But it's art!
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It's totally cool to get body painted in public if you're in, say, Key West during Fantasy Fest and someone kind of disguises your nasty-bits so your nips look like the noses of two puppies, part of a koi fish, or what lady-nipples were truly meant to be, a set of anime eyes. But showing up to work as a model, in Times Square, and allowing some dude who claims to be an artiste paint you like an ugly giraffe with highlighted "purple-nurples" is downright dumb. And people think models are smart. Pssh.
Naked Lady cocktail, anyone?
Bartender Janet Brannon of Delhi, Illinois was found serving Blow Jobs, Orgasms, and Sex on the Beach shots at her place of employment, Cabin Tavern, totally naked back in 2008. Way to serve a stiff one, Janet!