Art Miami 2010: Red Pants, Bestiality, and Lowbrow-Highbrow

View photos of Art Miami 2010 here.

When are art-world types going to stop wearing red pants? Aren't they basically just conforming at this point? Now an artist wearing some nice modest chinos: That would be a fashion statement.

We managed to get into last night's VIP opening of Art Miami in Midtown.

When we weren't being distracted by some of the sartorial trends, we

were overwhelmed, as we are every year, by the sheer amount of artwork

filling the giant warehouse set-up.

We snapped some photos of stuff that caught our attention, either because we thought it was great... or ridiculous. Keep in mind this is not authoritative. We were wearing black jeans at the time.

This silver bird was part of a tree full of birds wearing various high-fashion logos.

Bal Harbour denizens, beware: This is what your face looks like after too much cosmetic surgery.

This is made entirely of books. It is also completely legal in Florida.

The painting's title says it all.

The snooker balls have "king", "queen", "pawn", etc. etched on them.

This is a wooden sculpture based on a scene in this Spaghetti Western. That's all we can tell you for now.

Can modern artists just leave the poor sheep alone?

This photo from a Detroit gallery is supposed to be so lowbrow it's highbrow. Our concern is that it's consequently so high brow it's low brow again.

Made of tangled fireman's hose.

Sticking with the theme.

We think this is the original storyboard for Inglorious Basterds.

This is a painting.

Made entirely out of scratch-off lotto tickets. This just in, artsos: Shit made entirely out of shit is hot right now!

Price: $240,000.

Something about this gives us the sweats.

New rule: If you're going to make a piece that is just some smashed dishes coming out of crushed appliances, you have to give it an illuminating title so we know you're not just yanking our chain. Also, how would a rich person buy this and install it in their house without their maid cleaning it up?