An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian

Dear Kim Kardashian: There's something that's been bothering us about you lately. No, it's not your budding "music" career, your fragrance, diet pill endorsements, or the fact that you're famous for getting manicures, lunch, and having a nice ass. Nor is it because you're such a shamless media whore that...

By Elyse Wanshel

January 11, 2011

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Dear Kim Kardashian:

There's something that's been bothering us about you lately. No, it's not your budding "music" career, your fragrance, diet pill endorsements, or the fact that you're famous for getting manicures, lunch, and having a nice ass. Nor is it because you're such a shamless media whore that you'll appear at the opening of a toilet or the fact that you condemned your sisters on television for tweeting about vaginas and mayonnaise because all three of you have fans that are "under the age of 18" and that they're bad influences although it was an X-rated, "leaked" video starring you, Brandy's little brother, and body waste that propelled you into stardom.

Regardless, it's none of that ridiculousness that we have a problem with; a working girl's gotta work, we get that. Our problem is your face. Or rather your new face. And with new rumors and, well, photographic evidence that you've been tampering with your lips we've got to say, seriously, Kim, WTF? You are a naturally beautiful woman. Your face was perfect before the knife. And if we have to look at your plastic visage plastered everywhere, even on a fucking credit card, could you give it rest? Oh...nevermind.

Love,

Cultist

XOXO

P.S. You're looking more and more like your mother every day. And that's not a good thing.

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