Ever since stepping off la esquina, Mr. 305 has harbored deep hopes of becoming Mr. Hollywood.
So whenever he hasn't been too busy honing his craft in Bud Light commercials or buttering up movie biz elites with personalized remixes of the Men in Black III theme, this budding thespian has dedicated countless quiet hours to the careful study of Stanislavski and Strasberg.
Thus, Pitbull, The Actor, is finally ready for his close up.
And making his feature-film acting debut in a hyperviolent Shaolin drug flick entitled Blood Money, Pit gets some serious screen time.
Starring legendary Chinese action star Gordon Liu alongside Zheng "The Next Bruce Lee" Liu and helmed by Gregory McQualter (the writer, director, and producer of such films as, uh, Blood Money, Blood Money, and Blood Money), this coked-out martial arts murder movie has received an exceptional rating of 2.7 stars (out of 10) from 149 IMDB users.
The synopsis: Zheng Zhou (the younger Liu) is a Shaolin badass whose family was kidnapped and slaughtered. With no other options, he gets into the drug game as an enforcer and assassin, just as Hong Kong crime syndicate the Dragon Triad and a Colombia cartel hook up to hustle 2,000 pounds of crack cocaine through the Port of Miami. But suddenly, the deal goes bad. So drug thugs drive sexy superpowered sports cars through South Beach backalleys. Pitbull performs "Miami Boyz" at a place called the Ocean Club. And as Zheng says, "everybody" gets killed.
In a 91-second scene (previewed exclusively by Movieline.com), Pit sits down (after partying on SoBe with las mamis, but before the whole world gets murdered) to sagely counsel a Colombian cartel meathead in the ways of the game:
Pitbull: These baseheads ain't got no cash. The oldest rule in the book's supply and demand. You know that.
[Pause as Colombian cartel meathead stares blankly.]
Pitbull: This is cut coke, cut prices. Discount cocaine. I mean, these people have a direct connect now. If that's the type of lifestyle you're trying to live, I suggest you find a new game. You know how they say, "Go hard or go home."
Colombian cartel meathead: What market they doin'?
Pitbull: [Befuddled] Fuck! I don't know about no fuckin' markets. Dope game ... Not for me. I'm in the music.
[Pause as Colombian cartel meathead stares blankly.]
Pitbull: [Snickeringly] But you know what they say, "Put your ear to the groud, the streets are talkin'."
No shit, Pit. We just put una oreja to the pavement and these calles are saying ... "Go buy Blood Money on DVD for only $7.97 via Amazon. Daleee!"
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