10. Pete Townshend vs. iTunes
The Who guitarist and singer recently railed against iTunes, calling the download service a "digital vampire." His suggestions for improvement? Employing talent scouts, giving bands space to stream their music, and paying smaller artists directly.
9. Lilly Allen vs. Shakira
Lilly Allen hates illegal downloading so much that she even got into a fight with Shakira over it.
8. James Blunt vs. Actual Blunts
James Blunt is against illegal downloading. Hey Jay, know what else is illegal? Getting "fucking hiiigh."
7. Sheryl Crow vs. GROKSTER
When the Supreme Court sucked the wind out of file sharing service GROKSTER's sails, Sheryl Crow was foaming at the mouth for these pirates to walk the plank.
6. Mark Hoppus vs. Consistent Adulthood
WTF dude? You make millions of dollars from dingling your dangle around all day, writing like six album's worth of songs about it, spending your evenings getting flashed by teenage girls, and you still expect every single acne'd chronic masturbator to shell out however much Take Off Your Pants And Jacket goes for these days?
5. Don Henley Sucks
"Hotel California" sucked the first 150,000 times we heard it. At this point we just long for death until it's over. Fuck Yacht Rock and fuck you too.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
4. Elton John vs. Featured Artists Coalition
In the wake of Lily Allen's outcries against England's Featured Artists Coalition, singer/songwriter/pianist Elton John wrote his own letter to the U.K.'s business secretary.
3. Prince vs. The Entire Fucking Internet
While suing eBay, YouTube, The Pirate Bay, your grandma's Tumblr, etc, is certainly extreme, that degree of intense micromanaging is par for the course when it comes to Prince.
2. Dr. Dre vs. Napster
What the hell happened to Dr. Dre? He went from founding N.W.A. and helping launch Death Row Records, to hanging out with Eminem and bitching about teeny-boppers downloading low bit-rate copies of The Chronic.
1. Lars Ulrich vs. The World
Metallica's legacy for the past decade (or two?) has been nothing but unrelenting embarrassment. Really, dude, I don't think you need to worry about anyone downloading that sonic flatulence of an album you forced Lou Reed to sing on.