We all know the human body consists of 60- to 70-percent water. And that's why your friendly family doctor suggests that every human being should suck back several liters of liquid per day.
Neglecting your body's need for pure, precious H2O will result in constipation, chapped lips, cold hands, lack of tears, vomiting and/or diarrhea, shock, seizures, coma, and death.
No, we're not fucking kidding. And when you're popping tabs of Ecstasy like Flintstones vitamins, the seriousness of the situation increases tenfold.
So earlier today, rolling hard, baking under the South Florida sun, and unable to poop (or cry), we were literally dying for some water. Luckily, we found a wheelbarrow full of the stuff.
Right away, we screamed, "Ultra Bingo, motherfuckers!"
Yes, we bought all 36 bottles. And then ... We drank the filthy ice water bath they were sitting in.
Six down, 18 to go ... Was Ultra Bingo doomed to fail from the beginning? Can we stamp every square? Is there enough time?
Download the high-resolution PDF version of Ultra/Miami Music Week 2011 bingo card.
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