"Come at us, bro!"
"Weekends were made for R&R," said no one ever.
Truth is, weekends were made for partying, boozing, dancing, and waking up the next morning with a pineapple on your night stand, asking yourself, "What the hell happened last night?"
You'll be scratching your head all day trying to figure out the story of the mystery pineapple, but at least you'll have enough money left in your wallet to retrace your steps and wake up the next morning with another random object in your bedroom.
Here are the ten best music-related things to do under $10 in the 305 this weekend.
See also: Five Best Concerts in Miami This Week
Magazine Society Album Release Party. Friday, September 6, 8:30 p.m., Will Call, 700 NE 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-577-5900; willcallmiami.com. Free. It may be "so hard to say good bye," but with the release of their self-titled debut album, the guys of Magazine Society won't be leaving us anytime soon.
Thomas Wynn & the Believers. With Daniel Wills. Friday, September 6, 10 p.m., Bardot, 3456 North Miami Ave., Miami; 305-576-7750; bardotmiami.com. Get pumped up with Orlando's "Southern Rock Muscle." Skeptical? We're pretty sure their Tom Petty-Pink Floyd-the Black Crowes-inspired vibes will make a believer out of you.
Astrea Corp. With Lavola and Jelly. Friday, September 6, 10 p.m., the Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami; 305-379-0508; thevagabondmiami.com. Free til midnight. Take a trip to "Paradise Oscine" with the experimental sounds of Astrea Corp.
Miami Hurricanes vs. Florida Gators. Saturday, September 7, 12 p.m., Titanic Brewery and Restaurant, 5813 Ponce de Leon Blvd., Coral Gables; 305-668-1742; titanicbrewery.com. Free. Stand with the U, enjoy happy hour drink specials and .50 wings and steamed shrimp during the game, and show 'em Gators that nothing can withstand Hurricane force winds. C-A-N-E-S Canes!
Suénalo! Saturday, September 7, 11 p.m., Will Call, 700 NE 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-577-5900; willcallmiami.com. Free. Suénalo!'s gonna make you get down and dirty with their "Afro-Latin-Babymakin'-Descarga-Funk."
Jacuzzi Boys CD Release Party. With Shark Valley Sisters, Rat Bastard, Kenny Millions, and DJ Disco Duck. Saturday, September 7, 9 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. $5. In 2007, Jacuzzi Boys "emerged from deep within the Florida wilds [as] three radioactive chicks cawing for their piece of electric rock pie." Look at 'em now, opening for Canadian pop stars at the Fillmore Miami Beach, touring the country, releasing albums, and all. They grow up so fast.
Los Bastardos Magnificos. With Lone Wolf OMB. Saturday, September 7, 10 p.m., Tobacco Road, 626 South Miami Ave., Miami; 305-374-1198; tobacco-road.com. Free til 9 p.m. They may be a group of bastards, but these guys can play that "outlaw Americana country" like a boss.
Liza Quin. Sunday, September 8, 10 p.m., Bougainvillea's Old Florida Tavern, 7221 SW 58th St., Miami; 305-669-8577; bougiesbar.com. Free. Need a reason to go out on a Sunday night? Liza Quin's set of pipes is all the convincing you'll need.
Ludé. With Ray Nicholes and Black Nation. Sunday, September 8, 11 p.m., Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-614-4478; treehousemiami.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Fist-pump your way to the wee hours of Monday morning with Treehouse's techno bangers Ludé, Ray Nicholes, and Black Nation.
Rip the Stage. Bertrand Boyd II Album Release Party and open mike performances. Sunday, September 8, 8 p.m., the Stage, 170 NE 38th St., Miami; 305-576-9577; thestagemiami.com. $10. You've got skills and you know it. Show off your prose to the 305 with the lyrical poet, Bertrand Boyd II, and other rhetorical masters.