First they came for the Kendall boss babes, and we did not speak out. Then they came for the clout demons, and we did not speak out. Then they came for Miami New Times and — oh, shit. Eventually, Starter Packs of Miami comes for us all. The big-time Miami-Dade meme accounts could never, but Starter Packs goes there, with niche references to Liger's cookies, Andrew merch drops, and the literature available for purchase at Paradis Books & Bread. Flanigan's-loving Salt Life bros and Éliou-wearing microinfluencers get equal play. If astrology is your personality, natural wine is your hobby, or Carbone reservations are your currency, beware.

@starterpacksmia

When it was '21, it was a very weird year — and it seems the same can be said for '22, maybe more so. Yet here we all are, determined to make the best of it. And, for us here at New Times, the Best of it, as we proudly present this year's Best of Miami® issue, "Best in Show."

Of course, everyone has dreams of being top dog, but when it comes to IRL canines, everyone's dog is top dog, and every dog deserves a good life with a loving human companion. So alongside this year's playful theme, we're including a list of the South Florida dog-rescue organizations that toil year-round to match every homeless hound with a human best friend for life.

Oh, and we've also got picks for "Best Dog Food Store," "Best Dog Groomer," "Best Kennel," "Best Pet Supply Store," "Best Dog Park," and "Best Place to Dine With Dogs."

If you'll excuse us, we'll leave you to browse through our choices while we get to work on next year's edition. Have an early favorite? Share it with our staff at [email protected].

The Best of Miami® 2022 is written by: Grant Albert, Emmalyse Brownstein, Joshua Ceballos, Nicole Danna, Carolina Del Busto, Trae DeLellis, Alex DeLuca, Laine Doss, Jose D. Duran, Jesse Fraga, Jen Karetnick, Jessica Lipscomb, Tori Lutz, Bob Norman, David Rolland, Jesse Scott, Jess Swanson, Raj Tawney, Karen Tedesco, Elena Vivas, Katherine Wong, and Ryan Yousefi.

Design, "Best in Show" concept, section openers, photo-illustrations, and editorial layout by: Kristin Bjornsen.

Special thanks to: Kristin Bjornsen and Raj Tawney, for their invaluable assistance and unfailing patience.

Let's face it: The reason many locals never make it to the beach is that it's a friggin' pain to park once you get there. Not so at Key Biscayne's Crandon Park Beach, where parking spots are as plentiful as mangos in July. The prices aren't so bad, either: just $5 on weekdays and $7 on weekends. The beach is dotted with the kind of palm trees that make it easy to pretend you're in Jamaica, and there's no lack of amenities, including restrooms, picnic tables, grills, and even cabana rentals. You don't even have to worry about packing a cooler: Openseas Cafe takes orders by phone or online (305-606-5288; openseascafe.com) and delivers right to you on the beach.

Chef Karla Hoyos might be best known as the first Latina chef de cuisine at the Bazaar by José Andrés. The chef had plans to open a restaurant that celebrated her Mexican roots when Andrés contacted her with a higher calling: Can you drop everything and help coordinate the on-ground efforts for World Central Kitchen, feeding Ukrainian refugees as they enter Poland? Without hesitation, Hoyos was on the first overseas flight she could find. The chef has been documenting the humanitarian efforts on her Instagram, giving the world a firsthand view of war's shattering effects on everyday people. Hoyos has captured how, when she sees a family crossing the border, she and fellow volunteers first hand them cups of hot cocoa as a show of caring. For now, Miamians will have to wait to enjoy the talented chef's food, but when she returns, you can be sure there'll plenty of love to go around.

Sykes Ace Hardware in Little River is located along an always-chaotic stretch of NE 79th Street — three lanes of traffic heading full-steam toward Biscayne Bay — but the cognoscenti don't sweat the hassle. People get nostalgic for the smells of their childhood and it's hard not to revel in the sensory delights of an old-timey hardware store. Step inside Sykes and you're greeted with an aromatic mingle of ALL THE THINGS jammed inside this wondrous rabbit warren: lawn fertilizer, paint thinner, mothballs, urinal cakes, as well as hardware-store dust and the homey scent of Mrs. Meyer's dryer sheets. Whether you need one tiny screw or a Big Green Egg, you'll likely score it here. Sykes employees (yes, they are helpful!) serve a cross-section of customers that mirrors the diversity of Miami: day laborers, contractors, guys who just bought a boat. A grandma holding a circular-saw blade who takes her place at the end of the checkout line that snakes around the store. "It's all good, I'm happy to wait," she says. "I've been coming here for over 50 years, starting when I was a little girl with my mama. I could go to Home Depot, but why do that to save a dollar? This feels like home."

After hosting a rager at her $6.7 million Miami condo during Miami Hack Week — complete with lemurs, tech bros, and one massive snake — tech developer-turned-investor Lucy Guo tweeted a scathing letter she received from her homeowners' association that detailed how the party spiraled out of control and violated a handful of rules. "My HOA did not appreciate my Miami Hack Week party and the wild animals," she wrote in the since-deleted tweet, which included the note from One Thousand Museum Inc., the private corporation that enforces the bylaws at the striking 62-story luxury high-rise where Guo resides. After laying out Guo's various alleged offenses, the pissed-off association concluded, "All while your Instagram account provides evidence of the events of the night and your brazen attitude toward the Association's policies are reflected in the caption of your Instagram Story "MY HOA HATES ME."

@lucy_guo

Venture about ten minutes south from the throngs of squealing children and boozy spring breakers on Fort Lauderdale Beach and you'll find one of the best-kept secrets among Broward County residents. Known as "the Jetties" or "the Jetty," the secluded stretch of sand is tucked away just north of Port Everglades and its southern tip ends in a rocky shoreline. The sandy path that leads down to the water from the metered-parking area might feel like a never-ending trek (especially after a beer or three), but the view from the Jetties is well worth the journey –– especially at sunset or sunrise. Visit on a Saturday to watch cruise ships sail out of port. If you're lucky, you might just run into some wholesome, old-time Jetty-goers wishing bon voyage to the passengers as they glide past.