Worst Fanboy Pick-Up Lines at This Weekend's Comic Con

​Sure, the majority of people who attend comic book conventions probably go to buy comics and other collectibles, meet has -been and wanna-be celebrities, and hope that they can finally find that elusive Yugi-Oh #46 card, which has been preventing them from having the ultimate collection. But some people (mostly dudes), go to comic cons to pick up chicks. Yes, you heard right - comic con as meat market. We know - wtf?

Think about it: The chicks who go to comic cons are basically a fanboy's animated wet dream come to life. Of course, these girls have to put up with, let's say, less-than-smooth pick-up lines. With moves like these, it also isn't surprising that most of these guys spend their free time playing World of Warcraft and eating Hot Pockets in their parent's basement. Here are some of the worst pick-up lines used at this past weekend's Miami Comic Con.

5. "You look like Amy Jo Johnson (the original Pink Power Ranger)."
Seriously? While it's true that there are fangirls as well as boys, it is also undeniably true that fangirls usually tend to be a tad bit less geeky. A fanboy might remember Amy Jo and how she made his heart thump a lot faster; a fangirl is more concerned with how her cleavage looks in her Black Widow costume.

4. "Are you into hentay?"
This question reveals the importance of having social skills and the fact that fanboys tend to be lacking them. Hentay is Japanese anime porn - yes, cartoon sex. This question is equivalent to some random dude walking up to you at a Starbucks and asking you if you're into bestiality porn. The answer - at least 90% of the time -- will be "no." 

3. "Who's your favorite comic book character?"
Fanboys who use this line get points for having a superior set of social skills - well, superior to other fanboys at least. Such a question makes for a good icebreaker and establishes rapport. However, fanboys, with their almost encyclopedic knowledge of all things related to the comic book universe, will try and impersonate being a fan of the same character you are. They have the knowledge to pull it off, but when the object of their true affection (they guy dressed in the Spidey suit) walks by and they start palpitating, the jig is up.

2. "You should come over to my house sometime. My mom makes awesome _______."
Two variations of this statement were heard this weekend, one ended in pancakes and we blocked out the other one. Do we really need to explain how this pick-up line is a massive fail? We didn't think so.

1. "Art thou a noob? Shall I serve as your escort?"
We have to take a moment here. When we heard this come out of someone's mouth, first we froze - was there someone here besides us making fun of this geek parade? C'mon, no one speaks like that in real life. Or so we thought. This was actually uttered by, what is obviously a ginormous geek. This pick-up attempt is wrong on so many levels that we don't know where to start. All we can say is WOW (World of Warcraft). 

The good news is that for those of us proficient in the wooing of women, we now know that we can pick up some really cool chicks at the upcoming Florida Supercon. Just by not showing up dressed as a wizard, we already have an advantage. 

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Ily Goyanes
Contact: Ily Goyanes