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Why Your Neighborhood Cyclist Hates You

Flickr CC Richard Drdul
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Sure, you've laughed at cyclists' bulge-hugging Spandex shorts, rolled your eyes when they use the street inches from the sidewalk, and if you're a

certain Latin pop star

, you've even gotten drunk, hit them, and then driven off with their bike still lodged in your front fender while they lie bleeding on the side of the road. Asshole.

Ah, and let's not forget ladies, the bigger the truck the more adorable you look. Even when you're texting, which has become such a pain now that cyclists are sharing the road. What a nuisance. Well, the feeling's mutual...kinda. The local cyclist we spoke to organizes group rides to celebrate bicycles, encourage cycling, and to remind drivers that they must share the road. Although this sounds about as sweet as puppies and rainbows, there's still a few things that drivers (and even cyclists) do that really jam up his gears:

1. Passing too closely

Hey buddy, there's a reason why there's a state law that every vehicle

must leave three feet of space between their car and a passing cyclist.

Would you want to inhale a lung-full of exhaust while an 8,000-pound

machine whizzes two inches away from your vulnerable flesh so they can

get home in time to indulge in a Full House marathon and binge on Sun

Chips? We think not.

 

2. The right hook

This is when you speed up to pass a cyclist and then make an

abrupt right turn in their path. You usually underestimate your speed,

which means the cyclists has to stop abruptly so they don't crash into you. For those who haven't experienced it firsthand, peacefully riding a

bike and then, all of a sudden, having your bike fly up and over your

head is more terrifying than thrilling.

 

3. Honking

Uh, yeah, driver, we kind of already know that you're there. You're hard

to miss. You're in a giant sedan. So, there's really no need to honk.

Unless you have one of those custom musical horns, it just makes you

look angry and obnoxious.

 

4. The door prize

Kudos on your awesome parallel parking skills and all but please, oh

please don't open your door without checking the bike lane first.

Otherwise, there'll be flesh crashing into metal and asphalt when the

cyclist flies off their bike and lands in traffic.

5. Cyclists who ride against traffic in the bike lane

For one, it's against the law, and creates a dilemma for fellow riders

who are obeying the rules. It's not fun to problem solve under three

seconds. Besides, if the unfortunate happens, and you do get hit by a

car on the wrong side, it's your fault. Don't ruin it for the rest of

us.
 

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.