Who Should Replace Mark Wahlberg in Michael Bay's Pain and Gain?

Off-shore bank accounts, a Hialeah hostage, and 60-inch biceps -- three critical components of a botched, mid-90s plan to swindle millions from a successful Miami accountant.

When "Pain and Gain", Pete Collins's three-part crime feature, ran in New Times, the story's underlying elements immediately triggered images best suited for a comedic, Michael Bay action flick. Turns out Michael Bay thought so too.

We reported yesterday on Riptide that Bay was in talks with Dwayne Johnson to start in the big-screen adaptation the Pain and Gain. Can't help but wonder if they'll invite New Times staffers to the premier?

The story's based on the infamously feebleminded Sun Gym gang, a group of Miami-area knuckleheads who kidnapped and robbed Marc Schiller. Schiller, a wealthy businessman at the time, was left for dead near the Hialeah warehouse where his captors tortured him for nearly a month.

David Lugo, the mastermind behind the foiled plan, was eventually tracked down by a private-eye hired by Schiller. The result: the ultimate na-na-na-boo-boo.

We're guessing Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson would play Lugo in the film, a role he'd have little trouble filling. His intimidating physique and ability to be incredibly goofy at the same time fits Lugo's character description perfectly.

Sadly, "Marky" Mark Wahlberg passed on the project. Now the question is who'll play Marc Schiller.

Take our poll and tell us who you think should fill the role.

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Victor Gonzalez
Contact: Victor Gonzalez