What Happens When Old People Use Google

Last week a man told his 81-year-old father that making tweets was how to search things on Google. The result was the hilarious @oldmansearch.

The tweets reflect the mind of a confused (but adorable) old coot: how do you pronounce juan, cold toes, is alex trebek really smart, national geographic dinosaur truth, what does e-mail cost, and weather Indianapolis Indiana.

All of this led us to wonder, what happens when old people use Google? Do they get all confused and put on a pair of goggles before searching? Do they join a pudding of the month club? Are they fans of barely legal porn? After the jump, we imagined the Google search history of ten well-known old people.

Stephen Hawking
what do you feed a cyborg?
latin name sea monkies
is Scientology the religious worship of me?
what is a Brangelina
tap shoes

Muammar Gaddafi
camel care
pop stars with no morals
homemade explosives
which Sex in the City character am I?
how to properly set a woman on fire

Betty White
What time of year is best for planting petunias?
needlework cure arthritis
adult diapers
popular safe words
ball gag

Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
doctors knee cap liposuction
black market Botox commercial supply
euthanizing animal shelters: unwanted puppies
Joan Rivers

Larry King
Does my wife have any single, female relatives?
sluts in suspenders
prevention: testicles hitting toilet bowl water
what ever happened to my childhood pet brontosaurus, Steve?
Nutrition Facts: brains

Elsa Patton
Total Wine coupons
Rich gringos Miami
paper flower lovers anonymous: message boards
donde esta fountain de youth?
Elsa patton for president Cuba

Queen Elizabeth
Crown polishers
William and Kate wedding photos
Why is Harry called Prince Hot Ginge?
Where to get good spotted dick in London
What is herpes?

Lord Voldemort
What SPF works best for fair complexions?
Recruits for dark army: Elsa Patton: witch?
Nude muggles in somberos
Hermione Granger nip slips

Andy Rooney
Why do kids like their rock and roll music?
Why don't people use pennies anymore?
How many licks does it really take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
How did I make a career out of asking asinine questions?
Why do people laugh when I say I enjoy a good tossed salad?
Why can't I produce tears anymore when I want to cry?

Fidel Castro
Beard grooming
goridita bonitas con cigarros
where to buy skinny jeans in Habana
Huge Chavez's astrological sign

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