Newsflash: Cultist is guilty of watching reality trash television like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives. But what y'all don't know about us is that we're also die-hard Jeopardy fans. Not only does is our DVR programed to record new episode of Basketball Wives, it's also programed to record America's favorite quiz show each weekday evening at 7:30.
With the exception of Kids Week and the Teen Tournament, we watch every single episode--even the re-runs. We watched as Ken Jennings shat on previous Jeopardy records, remember the first episode Alex Trebek hosted sans mustache, and even tuned in when an IBM super computer showed off its trivia knowledge. However, we don't want to sit through the latter again.
Needless to say, we're pissed about show's decision to re-air the IBM Challenge. Check out list of reasons why Jeopardy should shelve Watson.
5. Watson Wins
We can watch the same Jeopardy episode a thousand times and not know who the winner will be throughout the whole show. Very few contestants are memorable enough for us to say, 'Oh yeah, he/she wins at the end.' But Watson's unforgettable, and we already knew he was going to win the first time around, we don't need to see it again.
4. Ken Jennings
Ken Jennings is a true Jeopardy champion, but after 74-consecutive wins, the dude's 15-minutes are up. He's not even likable.
3. Three Days without New Challengers
Jeopardy games should never exceed 30-minutes. And with the exception of the final two days in a tournament, new challengers should be introduced every single day. Why not bring Watson back to challenge the College champion, or pair him up against IBM Deep Blue, the chess-playing computer from late '90s?
2. Alex Trebek Looks Foolish
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Asking a machine how much he'd like to wager on a daily double is insulting.
1. Machine 1, Humans 0
We're fucked. Machines are finally smarter than us, and they're taking our prize money. Granted, IBM donated a million bucks to charity following the IBM Challenge, but Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter got shafted. We're losing the battle against machines, yo.