Last night, the city of Miami turned 114 years old and a b-day party was held at the American Airlines Arena. With Miami getting facelifts just as rapidly as its residents, it's no wonder it doesn't look a day over 25. Of course, the "celebration" did not go on without a few "Only in Miami" moments. Here are the top five, in no particular order:
1. Only in Miami would Jon Secada's presence become the highlight of the night.
When Jon Secada walked into the VIP Grey Goose Lounge, everyone went into a picture frenzy. The Miami native then sang "Happy Birthday" to his hometown (actually it was more like singing to the mayor and his brigade) and then immediately went back into Miami's history vault.
2. Only in Miami could a city be late to it's own birthday party.
party was supposed to start at 6 p.m. but got pushed back until 6:30
p.m. Unfortunately, not every entrance got the memo. Confusion and
aimless wandering ensued.
3. Only in Miami would there be a beautiful cake that ended up tasting like denture glue. The cake went on to prove that this city is all about exteriors. Three tiers of grandeur were topped with an amazing replica of the American Airlines Arena and iconic photos of city. Everyone took pictures with it, marveled at its beauty, anticipated the cake cutting...and spit it out into their napkin once they finally tried it. Talk about buzz kill.
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4. Only in Miami would celebrities represent a city but not show up to it's birthday. (We're looking at you, Heat royalty)
We worshiped Wade, LeBron, and Bosh. We gave them keys to the city. We hailed them as our saviors. We built them up when the rest of the country tore them down. And yet, they stood us up on our birthday. That's a deal breaker, right ladies?
Where was Miami's most famous sound machine, Gloria Estefan? Even the Basketball Wives didn't show! Mr. 305? Sebastian the Ibis? Enrique Iglesias? Bueller? Even an "I love you, Miami" from Liván Hernández would have sufficed.
5. Only in Miami would someone charge/pay $25 for this makeshift birthday party.
The event felt more like an awkward office party for "that-guy-who-sits-in-the-cubicle-over-there" than an actual celebration. Suenalo offered their son/funk sound, but the too-tailored crowd did not exactly let loose. At one point, the sax player started jumping and urged the crowd to join him in musical bliss. But only a few children followed. It was a sad little moment.
The highlights? There was a ton of restaurant samples and free Grey Goose, but that was really it. After stuffing your face with freebies, including an inedible cake, there wasn't much else to do.