It's been a week since Charlie Sheen gave his infamous interview on ABC. That's about enough time for crafters to whip up a few Adonis DNA beer cozies, right? Sure is - there are exactly four pages of Sheen-themed wares on Etsy. Surprisingly, no one picked up on our favorite Sheenism, which is that he parties so hard he makes Frank Sinatra look like a droopy-eyed armless child. If someone embroiders that on a throw pillow, we will buy it.
Before we continue, and we know you cannot stop eying the Charlie tighty-whiteys above, give a second to whether you really want this man's mug next to your testicles. Sure, he's uttered awesome things about trolls and warlocks, but in the end, he's an overpaid wife-beater. Check out his rap sheet of violence against women, and then decide if you want to drape your flaccid, portly body with his face and words. If you still do, here are ten sleazy Sheen items to wear or to drink out of.