Ay caramba! It's Friday, y'all. Finally.
In a few hours, it'll be time to unleash your inner Mexican. We know we have one (no, really, we're Mexican). During this time of the month, gringos come out from their St. Patty's Day shells. Cinco de Mayo is the day we separate the men from the boys -- with tequila. It's a time-honored tradition, and if you can't handle your Patron, we kindly ask you to go home, bro.
You have exactly one day to prep for the shit-show that will fester along the streets of the Big Mango tomorrow. Lucky for your 9-to-5, you have all day Sunday to recover. If worse comes to worst, you can always just call in sick (say you ate too many worms). So bring out those fake mustaches, dust off that old sombrero, don white linen pants and a poncho. Let it all hang out this weekend, amigos.
Without further ado, we give the 12 best things to do in our fake Mexican city, meng.
- Wolfgang Gartner: Stimulate your minds with crazy electro-house-meets-symphonic sounds.
- Aqua Girl: Pool parties and pretty ladies. Sign us up.
- Cinco de Mayo Pub Crawl: Six-stops of watering holes. First one to the end crawls home!
- Cinco de Bougie's Block Party 2012: It's free.
- 5 de Mayo Reventon!: I'll be a tremenda pachanga, yo.
- Robbie Rivera: We hope he wears a mustache tonight.
- Vice City Rollers vs. Bradentucky Bombers: Root our hometown derby girls on in their first bout in the 305.
- Coconut Grove Gallery Walk: Now with extra crazy!
- The Ekpharsis Project: Art From Art: Ekpharsis is Greek for dramatic expression of a visual work.
- Volvo Ocean Race: Taste the life of the one percent. (It's salty.)
- Lily Tomlin: Speaking of salty, this lady hasn't gotten any less funny in her old age.
- Fear Factory: It's gonna be a metal shit show y'all. Bring the eyeliner.