The Ten Worst Miami-Inspired Halloween Costumes

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10. Chonga

It's been more than half a decade since the "chonga" stereotype became internet famous, so if this is the most relevant and hilarious costume idea you've come up, it's probably best if you just stay home and hand out candy to 5-year-olds with more creativity than you. Bonus racist points if you're a white person trying to pull this off using a ton of bronzer, which is essentially the Cuban equivalent of blackface.

9. Retiree

Old people are hilarious! If they weren't, they wouldn't have let Johnny Knoxville make Bad Grandpa, right? (It's funny because they're going to die soon.)

But aside from the fact that it's been done to death (uh, no pun intended), dressing up as a convincing old person is really difficult. Hollywood makeup artists spend entire careers perfecting the craft of creating realistic-looking wrinkles and gray hair on the sexy young actors who go slumming for Oscars each year. So no, you and your roommate won't impress anybody with gray eyeliner and a can of white hairspray.

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Ciara LaVelle is New Times' former arts and culture editor. She earned her BS in journalism at Boston University and moved to Florida in 2004. She joined New Times' staff in 2011.
Contact: Ciara LaVelle