Keep New Times Free

The Ten Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend -- Post Apocalypse

Santa's pissed the world didn't end. He was counting on going out with a bang last night so he could finally let loose and not have to be accounted for every fu*king year.

But no. We're all still here. We still have to pay the rent. We still have to pay a car note. The world did not explode into smithereens, and an asteroid did not come to destroy our lives.

Ugh. Those Mayans.

The good news is: It's Friday, and we've all got a four day weekend ahead of us. And while the latter half of the weekend will be filled with bad Christmas sweaters and awkward conversations with family, it's still time off from work.

Deal with it, people. The world didn't end, so we all have to deal with each other for a looooooooong time.


Coconut Grove's Candy Cane Village: Kind of like the board game Candy Land -- but better.

Food Truckalypse: Apocalypse jokes are outdated now. Let's eat like there is a tomorrow, where we just don't care.

The Heavy Pets: Tropic-infused jam rock for the win!

A Christmas Story: A Christmas Story is the best Christmas movie of all time. Don't agree? Clearly you need a refresher.


Heat v Jazz: Heat and jazz actually go hand in hand. But pit the two together in an arena, and you've got yourself a great game.

Drag Queen Bingo Night: Stiletto 4. RuPaul 7. Diva 1. BIIIIIIIINGO!

Gift Music Festival: 50 percent of proceeds go to Make-A-Wish. No excuse, you grinch!


Dolphins v Buffalo Bills: You know, buffalos were once on the verge of extinction.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Kulcha Shok Muzik: The best thing about Miami is that culture shock does not exist. But kulcha shock is plentiful.

Lincoln Road Farmers Market: Last chance to load up on farmer-friendly produce to compliment Noche Buena's caja china, y'all.

Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.