Miami? Overrated? According to HuffPo yesterday,there's nothing to do in the 305 but throw back overpriced club cocktails and sweat
Which is weird, because we found this whole entire list of super-fun things to do this weekend -- none of them involving 5 a.m. untz-untzing.
Two of music's biggest names are putting on back-to-back shows. Festivals are breaking out all over town, dedicated to reggae, beer, and books. Like football? Take your pick: Canes or Fins.
But nah, HuffPo, we totally see your point about Miami. There's obviously nothing worthwhile to do here. How very sad for us.
The Eagles: Your dad's gonna be, like, totally jealous.
Deaf Poets: This local band may be a bunch of liars -- they're not deaf at all! -- but they still put on a fine show.
Water's Edge: Seven people meet on an anonymous beach and their stories and lives unfold in this season opener by Dance Now! -- and no, it's not based on Lost.
Bonus item for the ladies: It's not an event, exactly, but if you want a dude to shake his junk in your face in public, please note that tickets to Chippendales' residency at Mansion go on sale today.
South Florida Brewfest: Another weekend, another beer festival. (This is not a complaint.)
Miami Hurricanes vs. Virginia Cavaliers: Doesn't matter where the Cavs are from -- Virginia, Cleveland, whatever -- Miami's gonna stomp 'em.
Miami Reggae Fest: [insert weed reference in island patois here]
Janelle Monae: She's wacky, she's danceable, and girl looks hotter in menswear than any man alive.
Dolphins v. Panthers: We much prefer our cats in stupid Internet memes.
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Macklemore: At last, an event where it's acceptable to wear that shirt that smells like piss.
Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.
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