You know what Miami really likes?
Big ones. The kind that just pop out and are all Hey! We're here! So it's only befitting to say that this weekend in particular is a little... top heavy.
That's right. Most of this weekend's ongoings are happening tonight -- so hopefully you have your 5-Hour Energy in stock because if you've been awake since before daylight like us, you're gonna need it.
Here now are the ten best things to do in Miami this weekend, you sexy city, you.
Fitness Universe Weekend: Strong like bull.
Miami Marlins vs. San Diego Padres: Two games ago we talked smack about the Marlins and ate our words. For once. Hey-O!
Irie Weekend: He's got his own championship ring, too, y'all.
iHeart Radio Pool Party: Like Mr. 305 Worldwide central.
Journey: Doooooon't stop belieeeeevin'!
Burger, Beer, & BBQ Bash: Triple threat!
Daniel Tosh: Everyone hates him, but the man is funny.
Donna Summertime Dance Party: Do YOU have a party named after you?
US Drift Circuit: There are people in Florida who race cars and stuff, right?
Paul Rodriguez: One of the original Latin kings of comedy.
Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.