There aint no party like aReal Housewives of Miami
party because aReal Housewives of Miami
party don't stop! No, seriously, it seems like it never ends. And it also includes drag queens, ever-flowing alcohol, and more drama than your average Bravo viewer can handle.
For week 11, our favorite cast of characters are back in action. We have ultra-fab drag queen Elaine Lancaster, notorious South Beach developer Thomas Kramer, shining star of the series Mama Elsa -- and even a new face, former Vogue model Lauren Foster. We've spent many a night with Foster, and can tell you from experience that she can be either your best friend or worst enemy.
Elaine is the latter.
We begin with wine time with Lea Black and Elsa Patton. Now that we think of it, Wine Time with Mama Elsa would be an amazing spinoff series. Bravo producers, call us!
Lea does her best to explain to her favorite Cuban mother how and why she should like Elaine. Yeah, that wasn't happening. So they kept the wine coming; just what we like to see.
As if this episode of Real Housewives wasn't packed full of socialites already, they bring Lisa Pliner into the mix. Lisa's another lady we've spent a couple nights with, and girl is a blast in a glass (which, by the way, is our favorite kind of friend). We meet up with Lady Pliner at her gaudy Star Island home made for a Saudai Arabian prince. The ladies start the day with the intention of chatting about shoes and swiging back drinks. Let's just say that didn't last too long.
As the ladies were preparing to lunch, Elaine entered the room with one purpose and one purpose only: confronting Marysol. Instead of a red carpet diss, Miss Lancaster now claims that Marysol told Lisa Pliner not to hire him to emcee the event -- a claim Lisa herself says happens. So to clear the air, Elaine approaches Marysol by saying, "It's coming to a head." You know when a 7-foot tall drag queen books it straight towards you and begins the conversation with those words, shit is about to to hit the fan. Oh, and did it ever. There was chasing, there were insults thrown, and it only ended because the fashion show they came to see eventually had to start.
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Then, before we'd fully processed our post-drama excitement, it was time for Party From Hell #2. Thomas Kramer and his host (aka booty call) Karent thought it would be a great idea to throw a dinner party. Wait, does fondue count as dinner? Kramer decided the '70s were back and that this meal was going to be do-it-yourself. A little bougie if you ask us, but a love for The Melting Pot is a love for The Melting Pot.
Once meat started to boil, things went downhill right quick, and it was all because Thomas essentially hates each and every one of the show's stars. According to TK, Joanna's fiancé Romain is worthless, Ana needs to shut her mouth and get in the kitchen, and Mama Elsa needs to learn to shut up. Have you ever watched a Maury episode where girlfriends confront their abusive angry boyfriends? It was a lot like that, but with less denim and weave.
Episode 12 brings us more Elaine Lancaster drama, plus and a sort of "bring your mom to Bravo" day. We're just praying the other wives' moms are even half as entertaining as Mama Elsa.