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The Eleven Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

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It's the weekend. Are you feeling the love?

You better be. The annual relationship apocalypse that is Valentine's Day is just six short days away. Better live it up now, because no matter whether you're a sad single or a constant source of disappointment for your significant other, it's all downhill from here.

On the upside, maybe your boss will buy you something pretty. Just don't tell his wife.

Until then, you can fill your weekend with celebrity stalking, noise-thrashing, and trippin' on opera. Hey, it sure beats thorny roses and stupid stuffed bears.

Friday

International Noise Conference: Celebrating a full decade of howling, shredding, screaming, and puking. Remember kids: Earplugs are for sissies.

Miami Rhapsody: Prepare the paparazzi -- Sarah Jessica Parker's in town.

The Method Gun: Austin weirdos on the South Beach stage. What's not to love?

Saturday

Model Beach Volleyball: We'll say that again: Model. Beach. Volleyball.

Second Saturday Art Walk: How many drunk gallery crawlers will actually use the new crosswalks?

Brazilian Carnival: Get your glitter on.

Monster Jam: You probably shouldn't show up in your SmartCar.

His & Hers: Equal opportunity nightlife.

Neon Splash Dash: Raves: Now for your health!

Sunday

Chili Cook-Off: Man up those tastebuds and eat 'til you're the size of Texas.

The Magic Flute: Get stoned first. Trust us.

Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.