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The Eleven Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

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Every Friday we give you a weekend guide to help you plan your debauchery-filled days off from work. We browse and sift through the 305's best options and narrow it down to a handful of awesome choices.

We strive for clever tags lines for each event, and pick related videos for each of the three days. This weekend's featured video is "Decisions" by Borgore featuring Miley Cyrus.

Lame? At first, super. But upon further examination, you will come to enjoy this ridiculous compilation of noise, ass, titties, and Cyrus' bad make-up.

Once you get past the wannabe-ness of it all, it becomes the best damn laughing spectacle you'll have this morning.

Happy weekend, y'all.

Friday

AC/DC & Rush Tribute Night: Slap da bass, mon, to some Rush.

Of Montreal: We'll have bizarre celebrations...

Ultimate Miami Comedian: Jon Lovitz: Saturday ab workout: Check.

KRS-ONE: Superior to KRS two and three.

Saturday

Kentucky Derby Party: Don't forget sensible heels and a say-something hat.

Brew at the Zoo: Naughty by Nature, y'all. And Uncle Luke. It's like Throwback Saturday.

Borgore: Grab your Bitches Love Cake shirts.

Ultimate Miami Dessert: Rob Schneider: Speaking of cake, have some with the gigolo himself.

Sunday

Cinco de Mayo: One tequila...

Drinko De Mayo: Two tequila...

Cinco de Mayo Party: Three tequila, floor.

Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.