Thursday
Many would argue that a good desk job is preferable to half a dozen side hustles, but that coveted job security comes with sitting on your lumpy ass all day. To improve the health of cubicle dwellers everywhere, the Mercedes-Benz Corporate Run presents a 5K for organizations of all stripes to get their employees running and rejuvenating their office-kitchen-cake physiques. The event is dedicated to boosting office morale and fitness and benefits United Way with a portion of its proceeds. If you didn't get a chance to register, you can still cheer from the sidelines at "Florida's Largest Office Party." 6:45 p.m. Thursday at Bayfront Park, 301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 305-666-7223; mercedesbenzcorporaterun.com. Admission is free.
Though many jazz musicians are comfortable playing huge venues in massively sponsored and attended festivals, the true home of this music is in small, intimate theaters or clubs. Unlike its larger counterparts, the Miami International Jazz Fest stays true to those roots with three nights of jazz performances in venues as cozy as the Lilt Lounge at the Epic Hotel. The festivities celebrate International Jazz Day and Duke Ellington's birthday via performances by Wendy Pederson, Conjunto Impacto, and the GFS Trio. 7 p.m. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at various locations; miamiinternationaljazzfest.org. Admission varies depending upon the event.
For more evidence that Miami is merely an extension of Latin America, look no further than the Billboard Latin Music Conference and accompanying Billboard Latin Music Awards. The awards ceremony is the climax of the three-day conference, which brings artists and industry folks to the Magic City to talk shop and network. If you're not a conference attendee, the closest you'll get to seeing Shakira or Nicky Jam walk away with a trophy is on your couch watching Telemundo. But, hey, you'll still be way closer than most people watching it worldwide. 7 p.m. Thursday at the Ritz-Carlton South Beach, 1 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach, and 7 to 11 p.m. at the Watsco Center, 1245 Dauer Dr. Coral Gables, 305-592-4473; billboardlatinconference.com. Registration costs $749.
Friday
As April draws to a close, so does Miami's annual poetry festival, O, Miami. The sometimes strange, sometimes beautiful, and always poetic month of events culminates with Lula Del Ray, a mixed-media performance piece by Manual Cinema. Combining the nostalgia of radio and vintage country tunes with the almost twinkly light of an overhead projector, this Chicago collective crafts a poignant coming-of-age tale with almost no dialogue. Following the final performance Saturday night, an afterparty sending off National Poetry Month will include food trucks, drinks, giveaways, and the Rambling String Band on the SMDCAC plaza. 8 p.m. Friday and 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. Saturday at the South Miami-Dade Cultural Arts Center, 10950 SW 211th St., Cutler Bay; 786-573-5300; smdcac.org. Admission costs $37.
Having a conversation with a painting sounds like something you did during a college acid trip. But this weekend, it's a living, breathing, naked reality. In Duologue With a Painting, Fernando Calzadilla will not only exhibit his reclining nudes but also embody his work by becoming a live painting. Audience members can look at, wander around, and, yes, talk to the painting via a chair and microphone situated in front of the artist/art. Feel free to ask the painting its opinion on aesthetics, politics, and philosophy, or simply witness the spectacle without the aid of psychedelic substances. 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday at the Sandbox at Miami Theater Center, 9816 NE Second Ave., Miami Shores; 305-751-9550; mtcmiami.org. Admission costs $25.
Some people occasionally whip up the one recipe they have for chocolate chip cookies. But real bakers blow everybody's minds at totally inappropriate times, like when they bring an Easter cake to work that's too pretty to eat, but once you start you can't stop shoving it in your face, crying. For those types of bakers (or, ya know, professionals), the SoFlo Cake & Candy Expo is here to get your piping tips wet — with frosting, that is. It's three days of every confectioner's possible desire, including classes and a cake competition. 9 a.m. Friday and 10 a.m. Saturday and Sunday at the Miami Airport Convention Center, 711 NW 72nd Ave., Miami; soflocakeandcandyexpo.com. Tickets cost $20 for one day and $35 for two; class admission is sold separately.
Invasive species can wreak havoc on an ecosystem by competing with local wildlife for space, food, and other resources. Invasives can be particularly detrimental to the already fragile ecosystem of the Everglades. To benefit our local flora and fauna (and also our bellies), the eighth-annual Everglades Non-Native Fish Round Up is calling open season on invasive fish. Adult and junior teams of anglers will weigh in at four stations to win prizes for largest aggregate catch and largest fish. This year's tournament is an overnight affair, so register by noon Friday, don a pair of night-vision goggles, and get reeling. 3 p.m. Friday until 3 p.m. Saturday at various locations in the Everglades; evergladescisma.org. Registration costs $25.
Not many people can imagine doing the same job, the same hobby, or the same person for 40 years. But The Four Tops somehow kept the same lineup from 1953 until the death of Lawrence Payton in 1997. Even though the roster has changed drastically since then (the only original Top still singing is Abdul "Duke" Fakir), tunes such as "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)" and "Reach Out I'll Be There" are sure to give you all the throwback feels of Motown's heyday. 8 p.m. Friday on Stage 305 at Magic City Casino, 450 NW 37th Ave., Miami; 844-234-7469; magiccitycasino.com. Admission costs $25 to $500.
Click next for more things to do in Miami this week...
Saturday
There aren't enough feet in the world to march for all the things that need protection from the federal government right now. But that doesn't mean you should sit out any of the protests. This week, the Miami People's Climate March is being organized by Miami Climate Alliance, the Women's March Florida Miami-Dade Chapter, 350.org, NewFM, SEIU, and Union of Concerned Scientists in an effort to protect the planet and the people living on it. It's the place to be if you want to tell your government to protect the air our children breathe, and the jobs that feed them. 1 p.m. Saturday at José Martà Park, 351 SW Fourth St., Miami; facebook.com/MiamiClimateAlliance. Admission is free.
The art world in Miami isn't exactly a harmonious ecosystem. So when that community comes together to celebrate its successes, it just might give you the warm and fuzzies. ArtCenter/South Florida is doing just that by hosting its Alumni Tour and Brunch at Little Haiti's Laundromat Art Space. The gallery was founded by artists who spent time creating at the ArtCenter, the Bakehouse, and in Wynwood. You can see the growth of creative activity in the studios of select alumni, resident artists, and the "Wordplay" exhibition on display in conjunction with O, Miami. 1 p.m. Saturday at Laundromat Art Space, 5900 NE Second Ave., Miami; 303-960-7810; laundromatartspace.com. Admission is free.
Miami could learn a few things from Chicago: how to create halfway decent public transit, for example, or how to put more cheese on pizza. One Chicago-born endeavor that is sure to grace our tropical paradise is the Renegade Craft Fair, a curated showcase of products by local artists and artisans that has expanded far beyond the Windy City. The first Magic City edition features 75 vendors of jewelry, home wares, and all manner of handicraft, nearly a dozen pushers of food and refreshments, plus DJs and giveaways. Because anything Chicago can do, Miami can do hotter. 11 a.m. Saturday and Sunday at Mana Wynwood, 318 NW 23rd St., Miami; renegadecraft.com. Admission is free.
Lowriders have gone in and out of style since the '70s, but they've never lost their mystique. Even your lame cousin who worked at Chicken Kitchen looked fly behind the wheel. The Miami Lowrider Car Show is chock-full of similar awesomeness, such as a tattoo expo, a barber battle, and a carhop competition. Bring the little ones to enjoy the Kid Zone, an appetite to enjoy the food trucks, and your pre-adolescent dreams of true coolness. Noon Saturday and Sunday at the Fair Expo Center, 10901 Coral Way, Miami; 954-642-1848; miamilowridercarshow.com. Admission costs $42.50 per day or $68 for a weekend pass.
Is your usual workout feeling a little drab? Does even the sweat pouring from your pores look clear and boring? To add a little spice to your exercise, save the date of the 5K Color Run. The race travels the world, sprinkling each runner or walker with dyed cornstarch. And by sprinkle, we mean douse. The Color Run 2017 Dream World Tour will hit Fort Lauderdale with a Cloud Foam Zone, Unicorn Finisher's Medal, inspirational Dream Wall, and everyone's favorite: giant inflatable unicorns. 7:30 a.m. Saturday at Huizenga Plaza, 32 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale; thecolorrun.com. Registration to participate costs $39.99 to $44.99.
Has anything erased the vague anxiety you felt while watching a tube sock dangle from Anthony Kiedis' junk? Didn't think so. Aside from a penchant for nudity, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have enjoyed a 30-year career of chart-topping albums, including their latest, The Getaway, which was the impetus for this tour. Their pit stop in Miami is one of more than 25 shows added to their initial dates. Even if all you've got is a beanie and a vague knowledge of the chorus in "Under the Bridge," you'll fit in just fine with these funk-rock hall-of-famers. 8 p.m. Saturday at American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 786-777-1000; aaarena.com. Tickets cost $49 to $99. See page 33 for more about the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
It's not always easy to find a Caribbean dance party in Miami. But sometimes your body just wants to wind to some dancehall rhythms in the steamy tropical heat. This week, Bashment in Paradise: The Shell Down aims to inspire your sound-system-loving legs to dance to reggae, soca, and hip-hop spun by DJs Juice, Niall, Savy, and Push Play in Little Haiti. 10 p.m. Saturday at Rasta Village, 5225 NW Second Ave., Miami; bashmentinparadise.eventbrite.com. Admission costs $10.
Miami's music scene owes a million thank-yous to DJ Spam and the Spam Allstars. These musicians were whipping up crowds like scrambled eggs for breakfast years before Wynwood became a gentrified arts district. The Allstars just released their sixth album, Trans-Oceanic. Catch the band playing its brand of Afro-Cuban dance-liciousness at the North Beach Bandshell this week in partnership with the Rhythm Foundation, Blackbird Ordinary, and Purdy Lounge. 7 p.m. Saturday at the North Beach Bandshell, 7275 Collins Ave., North Miami Beach; 305-672-5202; northbeachbandshell.com. Tickets costs $5, $10 with CD, or $15 with vinyl. Kids under 12 get in free.
Sunday
Kids these days use the term "lit" in the same way older generations said "off the chain." Inhale Miami has taken "lit" to the next level with its yoga event Get L.I.T.!, an acronym for "love, intellect, and truth." The day will feature the ancient teachings of Vedanta by instructor Rina Jakubowicz, food and beverages, and yoga set to a live performance by synthy dance duo Afrobeta, which will play a score created especially for the occasion. 11 a.m. Sunday at Inhale Miami, 6310 NE Second Ave., Miami; 786-391-1897; inhalemiami.com. Admission costs $40.
In Miami's ever-transient culture, one thing has remained in style for years: bike riding. So Miami Beach's monthly CiclovÃa, a partnership with Miami-Dade County's Bike305, is probably here to stay. During the event, the city blocks off the busy Washington Avenue between Fifth and 16th Streets. People can ride, stroll, and do yoga with Green Monkey. The Miami Beach Police can even teach your tot to ride. Sunshine, exercise, and time to shop locally make this a perfect weekend afternoon. 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. Sunday on Washington Avenue from Fifth through 16 Streets, Miami Beach; 305-755-7800; miamibeachfl.gov. Admission is free.
Japanese culture inspires people around the world. Its tea ceremonies encourage mindfulness. Its street fashion prompt risk-taking styles across the globe. And at the 2017 Japanese Spring Festival, Miami Beach Botanical Garden is offering a thank-you by celebrating Japan and its relationship with Miami. Expect taiko drumming by Fushu Daiko, flower arrangement classes, tea ceremonies, martial arts for kids, and anime-themed vendors at this far-out family day. 10 a.m. Sunday at Miami Beach Botanical Garden, 2000 Convention Center Dr., Miami Beach; 305-673-7256; mbgarden.org; Admission is free.
Tuesday
Atlanta rap has recently returned to the forefront of the genre, thanks to the TV show named for the city. Even though he was holed up in prison during Atlanta's rise, trap master Gucci Mane wasn't about to miss out on this hot time for his hometown. He released multiple albums from the big house, and now he's back on tour. The "East Atlanta Santa" is taking his talents to South Beach. 8:30 p.m. Tuesday at the Fillmore Miami Beach, 1600 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-673-7300; fillmoremb.com. Tickets cost $45.50 to $69.50.
Wednesday
Gramps' new ladies' night, Lash, shows off South Florida's true talents of the feminine kind. So it's no surprise that when Sophie Sputnik, drummer of Broward duo Killmama, decided to go solo, Lash opted to celebrate her EP Mental Suburbia with live performances. Sure, you can grab those tunes on Spotify, iTunes, or Amazon soon enough, but first catch a few shows IRL, with opening soulful-sibling act Anastasia Max. Half the proceeds from the $10 donation will benefit Courtland's Connection, which supports sober living and recovery. 8 p.m. Wednesday at Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami; 305-699-2669; gramps.com. Admission is free, but a $10 donation is suggested.
