"The 12 Days of Christmas In Miami," According to Hialeah Haikus (Video)

Christmas in South Florida isn't exactly your traditional celebration. There's no softly falling snow, no chestnuts roasting on open fires, and hot cocoa just doesn't taste the same in 80-degree weather.

But the folks behind Hialeah Haikus, the collection of funny-because-it's-true verse that made Miami actually want to read poetry when it debuted in 2010, know that what Christmas in Miami lacks in tradition, it makes up for in Latin superstars, Cuban pastries, and whole roasted pigs (especially ones driving around in convertibles).

In its "12 Days of Miami Christmas" video, the writers of Hialeah Haikus break down all the things that make the Hialeah holidays special. Or cringe-worthy. Or hilarious. Or all three. Check it out after the jump.

Hialeah Haikus presents A Very Hialeah (Haikus) Christmas! at CCEM Saturday, December 22, at 8 p.m. Expect readings of Christmas-themed poetry that "would likely be banned outside of Dade county." Admission is free. Visit

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Ciara LaVelle is New Times' former arts and culture editor. She earned her BS in journalism at Boston University and moved to Florida in 2004. She joined New Times' staff in 2011.
Contact: Ciara LaVelle