Ten Reasons We Should All Just Agree That Tampa Sucks

Oh no they didn't.

In a cheeky little column this morning, the Tampa Tribune announced that the Cuban sandwich is now Tampa's official sandwich. It went on to claim that the Tampa version of that sandwich is superior to Miami's. Between jabs at the 305's personal injury lawyers and Tony Montana references, writer Jeff Houck makes the case that Tampa's cubano is more Cuban than Miami's because its flavors are inspired by Italian and German immigrants. (What?)

Granted, the attack on us wasn't unprovoked; it came in response to a Miami Herald piece dissing the culinary acumen on Florida's west coast. And normally, far be it from us to defend the Herald. But this isn't the first time Tampa's tried to steal our glory. This isn't about newspapers. This is about Miami. This is war.

So forget the sandwiches, and read on for 10 reasons the 305 kicks the ass of the, um, what's Tampa's area code again? Oh, right, no one cares.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Ciara LaVelle is New Times' former arts and culture editor. She earned her BS in journalism at Boston University and moved to Florida in 2004. She joined New Times' staff in 2011.
Contact: Ciara LaVelle