There's a lot to be said for the 1990s. Neon colors, boy bands, and Cory and Topanga's cuteness reigned supreme.
Wait, or is that today's world? Shit's getting confusing lately, what with all the pop culture throwbacks.
But seriously, the '90s were pretty rad all the way around -- particularly in Miami. Back in the good old days, we had fewer people, better baseball, and a lot more models milling around. Check out the top ten reasons why the 305 was better before the millennium hit.
See also:
- Why Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Was Afraid of His Pain & Gain Role
- Pain & Gain : Six Things Michael Bay Got Wrong
10. There weren't as many tourists.
Really, there weren't as many people in general, but South Beach certainly wasn't as overrun with lobster-red Northerners and Speedo'd Europeans as it is these days. Granted, they're pumping funds into our local economy (at least, when it's not funneled into the pockets of corrupt politicians). But still, spending a Sunday on the beach without hoardes of loud touristas would be a welcome change every once in awhile.
9. Dudes wore Hammer pants and fanny packs.
Seriously. Did you see Pain and Gain? Priceless.
8. The Rock was in attendance at UM.
What other alum could ever possibly live up?
7. Gianni Versace was still alive and well and living in his South Beach mansion,
Let's face it, his presence significantly upped the class factor of Ocean Drive.
6. There were more models.
In the '90s, the fashion industry was well-established in the 305, but we lost that crown to NY and LA a long time ago.
5. There were more gays.
Post-1990s, Miami lost a lot of its flamboyant friends to Fort Lauderdale. Seriously sucks for us.
4. There were fewer people.
Which means fewer douchebags and fewer bad drivers. In 1990, there were 1,973,194. Today, we're approximately 2,591,035 strong. Ugh.
3. The Marlins were winning.
Imagine that. In 1997, the Marlins won the World Series, a concept well beyond the wildest imaginations of today's Marlins fans. Oh, and El Tremenda Mierda didn't exist, the taxpayers hadn't sunk $360 million into a failing stadium, and no one in Miami had heard of Jeffrey Loria.
2. Affordable real estate
After a building boom in the '80s, the early '90s offered lots of deals to be had in the 305. Back then, home ownership was still an attainable dream for many of your average Joes and Janes. These days, good luck buying anything without one hell of a hefty nest egg.
1. Um, everything was better in the 90s. Duh.
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.
