Miami Music Week is nearly upon us. From March 20 through 25, the Magic City will be one giant, sweaty rage fest hosting some of the world's best DJs, producers, and electronic musicians and attracting hundreds of thousands of dance music fans from across the globe. The climax of the famed week is Ultra Music Festival, the world-renowned three-day electronic music festival, and it's all taking place right in your backyard. Are you prepared for the madness?

Concerts and parties will take place from South Beach to downtown Miami and turn the city into an absolute madhouse. Maybe you're here for the unbridled revelry. But if you're not, take heart: It's possible to avoid the bright lights and uhntz-uhntz. From pop-up cat cafés to food festivals, these are the ten best ways to avoid Miami Music Week:
1. Abandoned Pet Rescue Pop-Up Cat Café. When one of the world's most revered electronic music festivals is in your backyard, it's hard to find a friend who isn't talking about the annual gathering. Our recommendation: Find yourself a new "furr-ever" friend. Head to Fort Lauderdale for the launch of Abandoned Pet Rescue's pop-up cat café at Blanco y Blanco Arts. Feline lovers can play with adoptable kittens and snack on pastries, coffee, and tea. All proceeds will benefit Abandoned Pet Rescue, Broward’s largest no-kill shelter. Noon to 3 p.m. Sunday, March 25, at Blanco y Blanco Arts, 1147 NE Ninth Ave., Fort Lauderdale; 954-728-9010; abandonedpetrescue.org. Admission is free, but donations are encouraged.
2. FemAle Brew Fest. Women were brewing beer long before burly men in perfectly groomed beards and flannel shirts took up the task. In fact, women have been making beer since ancient times, when it was considered their job. This March 24, the nation's first women-only beer festival will return to Fort Lauderdale to celebrate and highlight the ladies of the brewing industry. A $45 general-admission ticket includes samples of beer brewed by women from 3 to 7:30 p.m. while supplies last. DJ La Trice Perry will throw down alongside performances by women solo artists and bands. A portion of the proceeds from FemAle Brew Fest 2018, presented by the Fem Collective, will benefit the Pink Boots Society, a nonprofit for women beer professionals. 2 to 8 p.m. Saturday, March 24, in Huizenga Plaza, 32 Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale; femalebrewfest.com. Tickets cost $45 to $95 plus fees via eventbrite.com. 3. MissCellaneous: All Kings Edition. Miss Toto, Miami's reigning queen of the gay party scene, is bringing the 305 some fabulous alternatives to Miami's annual tiki-tiki takeover. Recently dubbed one of Miami's best drag shows by New Times, MissCellaneous is a new monthly drag night brought to you by Miss Toto and Villain Theater. This month's showcase will offer an all-drag king lineup at Little Haiti's intimate theater Saturday, March 24. Although the lineup has yet to be released, Villain Theater teased it in this Jezebel article on MissCellaneous' Facebook event page. Will Florida drag king Spikey Van Dykey make an appearance? For more fun with Miss Toto during Miami Music Week, catch Bingo With Miss Toto at Gramps at 9 p.m. Wednesday, March 21. 11:30 p.m. to 3 a.m. Saturday, March 24, at Villain Theater, 5865 NE Second Ave., Miami; 786-391-2241; villaintheater.com. Tickets cost $10.
4. Deering Seafood Festival. Down south, in the peaceful, faraway land of Palmetto Bay, Miami's most voracious seafood lovers will gather for the 14th-annual Deering Seafood Festival. Foodies can relax with nature and sate their appetites with fresh seafood and desserts. Catch Popo’s Seafood, Tacos & Tattoos, Sports Grill, Golden Rule Seafood, Rodbenders Raw Bar & Grille, Gringa Flan, Chill’N Nitrogen Ice Cream, Wendy’s Chocolates, and others in the fest's Seafood Alley. The event will also offer live entertainment, celebrity chef demos, kid-friendly activities, and other diversions. Just don't make out with a tree like that girl did at Ultra in 2012. 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday, March 25, at Deering Estate, 16701 SW 72nd Ave., Palmetto Bay; 305-235-1668; deeringestate.org. Admission starts at $20 presale via deeringestate.org/seafood-festival and $25 at the gate. Children ages 4-14 are $7 presale and $10 at the gate.
5. Miami's Vice City Rollers vs. Key West Derby Dames. The fearless, badass babes of Miami's Vice City Rollers, the 305's first and only women's flat-track roller-derby league, will return for their first game of the 2018 season against the Key West Derby Dames. Miami's roughest and toughest will serve "derby kisses" to the competition during an action-packed bout March 24 at the Wynwood Dome. (Derby kisses cause the gnarliest black-and-blues you've ever seen.) The kickoff game will include a special Miami Heat takeover with Heat dancers, the Xtreme Team, Burnie, and special guest announcer Dale. Root for the home team, and don't forget your folding chair because seating is limited. 7 p.m. Saturday, March 24, at the Wynwood Dome, 226 NW 22nd Ln., Miami; 305-707-4443; miamirollerderby.com. Tickets cost $12 presale plus fees via vicecityvskeywest.brownpapertickets.com and $15 at the door. Trackside seating costs $20. Children aged 10 or younger get in free.