Ten Best Things to Do This Long Weekend

The reason you have Monday off is that President Cleveland needed to appease striking workers after six laborers were unjustly killed by his federal goons. Over the past century or so, Labor Day has morphed into a long-overdue respite from overwork and day-job fatigue.

In Miami, we like to honor this vaguely pro-union, mostly pro-day-off holiday with

boxing strippers, lesbian vampires, Uncle Luke, and a drunk spelling bee. 'Cause we do things classy like that. Read on for the ten best things to do this long weekend.

Friday

• Zeds Dead: Toronto dubsteppers vibrate the walls at the Fillmore Miami Beach.

• Two in the Wave: Chronicling the rocky friendship of François Truffaut and Jean-Luc Godard, Two in the Wave opens at the Miami Beach Cinematheque.

• The Brothers Size: Perhaps the best playwright to come out of Miami, Tarell Alvin McCraney has an award-winning play, The Brothers Size, that will open at GableStage on Saturday. Look for our review on Sunday.

• Uncle Luke Video Vixens: Celebrate Labor Day weekend with New Times columnist and recent mayoral candidate Luther Campbell. He'll bring the party (and 100 video booty-shakers) to SoBe Live.

• Wyclef Jean: Perhaps the only reason to go to the Marlins' Saturday-night matchup is the postgame concert with former Haiti presidential candidate and Fugees member Wyclef Jean.

• Great Grove Bed Race: Can't decide between pounding pavement and sleeping in? Take turns doing both this Sunday during the annual Great Grove Bed Race.
  

• Miami Bike Polo: The new sporty rage in the 305 is hitting balls with mallets while zigging and zagging on two wheels. This Sunday, play a match and enjoy some team spirit and grilled meat at the Miami Bike Polo BBQ.

• We Are the Night: Lesbian vampires invade the Stage with a screening of the German flick We Are the Night. The shebang is a fundraiser for the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival.

• Drunk'n Spelling Bee: For every word you spell correctly, you must down a shot of Jägermeister, ensuring that your skills just get worse as the night goes on. The last drunk standing gets a $50 tab at Purdy Lounge.

• Monday Night Fight: At King of Diamonds, exotic dancers will don headgear and gloves for this surreal mix of boxing and stripping. And it's all in honor of Labor Day.