First off, who knew Steve-O did stand-up? Secondly, who would've guessed a swarm of people would show up this past weekend, packing Coconut Grove's Improv Comedy Club like this headliner would pack a port-o-potty with poo (and then roll down a hill inside of it), just to watch this Jackass star, be well, a jackass?
Actually, he wasn't an ass of any kind. The performer, known for
snorting wasabi and chugging a live goldfish out of a fishbowl and then
vomiting it back up, was pretty gracious with his audience. After each
of his shows during his four-day stint at the Improv,
he'd joyfully sign autographs and take pictures with every member of his
audience who wanted a Facebook profile picture of themselves giving
a thumbs up next to Steve-O's self portrait tattoo. It's of himself giving a thumbs up, creating such a surreal paradox
we're surprised the internet didn't implode.
So what was his act like? Pretty raunchy. Many a joke involved his eternal role as a one-minute man, how he jerks off so often his dick is crooked ("it looks like it looking down the road, in search of the bus"), and chicks farting in his face. One funny bit involved groupies, provoking a flock of sloshed, scantily-clad blonds sitting in the front row to heckle (which to everyone else in the audience came off as coy and super obnoxious). To our delight, Steve-o called them out, inspiring another groupie anecdote from the budding comedian. If the girls were indeed as insecure as they seemed, things could go his way post-show (wink, wink).
Sandwiched in-between Steve-O's three,15-minute acts were two comedians: local Nery Saenz and Cleveland comic, Ryan Dalton. Saenz performed first, and with true 305 flair, this tubby funny boy, who donned a tie won over a boisterous crowd that consisted of UM students, couples in their 20s, and good ol'Miami mainlanders of the Kendall, Westchester, and Doral variety. Saenz charmingly made jokes about Miamians' thin skin when the weather drops a single degree and about how a great way to wake up your boyfriend is with a BJ or a cupcake. He clearly killed, leaving a club full of belly aches in his wake.
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And although Dalton, who jumped up on stage after Steve-O's second round of jokes, made quite a few knee-slappers -- including a nice ripping on vegetarians -- he lost his audience right away with his sarcastic opener: "It's amazing what you people in Miami do with bars over windows".
Steve-o gave the audience a good 30 minutes of conservative stand-up comedy, but his third 15-minute round was devoted solely to stunts or "bar tricks" as he referred to them, which included balancing a knife on the tip of his nose, squirting limes in his eyes, and then taking a can of hairspray, emptying it out on his head, lighting it on fire, and then having a dude spit a mouthful of alcohol onto his already ignited head.
And the blaze was quite impressive. Well, until someone had to put everything out with a fire distinguisher. But no worries, no Steve-Os were seriously injured during any of his Miami performances.