Skrawberry's Guide to Giving the Perfect Lap Dance

You know Miami stripper Skrawberry for her rap skills, her political commentary,

and of course, her sexy moves on the pole. Now, you'll also know her

for her sound advice. In this weekly column, Skraw responds to readers'

questions about life, love, and beyond. Got a question for Skraw? Hit

her up at skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com.

Dear Skrawberry,

What's the secret to a perfect lap dance? Don't really have a reason for asking, just wanna improve my own skills, haha



There is no such thing as a perfect lap dance. A stripper can satisfy a guy with a lap dance by just sitting on his lap and havin' a great conversation. You can grind on him and give him pleasure, but most guys will be satisfied with someone who will just listen. Guys really pay for that! A guy can sit and tip you just to stay and talk to him -- even if you don't hear half of what he says due to the loud music, or laugh at all his corny jokes.

Or you can be the one who will bone and hunch him in the club. You might get that one pervert guy who wants you to sit really hard on his penis and use your butt bone to press up against his penis and move. That little friction can turn him on, and he might cum. But before you do that, think of the transferred germs that you are gettin' on you from his last lap dance. Nasty.

You might also get that one guy who just wanna watch you dance and rub all over yourself while he jack off. If he have enough time to cum before the lap dance is over, that can be his perfect lap dance.

No matter which lap dance you do, make sure you do it with personality! No one wants to pay for ones' company to be bored. Even if you aren't enjoying yourself, act as if you are. During any lap dance, it's not about you! A strip club is a fantasy place, so while you are at work, stay in character! Leave your problems in the dressing room -- or better yet, leave them at home.

The perfect lap dance leaves the man satisfied and wantin' more. Just remember: Don't ever give the customer too much. That way he won't just leave wanting more -- he will be sure to come back lookin' for that lil' bit that you didn't give him. And if you keep this up, you yourself have gained a customer. Remember to leave something to the imagination! Never ever feed into sex ... especially in the club. Don't get caught fuckin'. Don't go from lap dancin' to trickin'! It's never that serious, and besides, the money can't be that good to fuck in the club! But a good tease is always good.


Email your questions for Skrawberry to skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com. Follow Skrawberry on Twitter @Skraw_Berry.

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