Sex. Doin' it. Gettin' it on. The horizontal lambada. The naked bacon dance. Making love. Banging. Boning. Smashing. The baloney pony.
Whatever you wanna call it, at least 80% of the world's population is doing it, or thinking about doing it, right now.
Dr. Sonjia is too. The UM professor, AIDS research scientist, and sexual health professional's new book Sex In South Beach is launching Saturday night at the Catalina Hotel. There will be burlesque dancers, free drinks, free condoms, music, sensual aromas, and more sex talk than a Sex In The City marathon.
Here's what Dr. Sonjia had to say about vibrators, clits, and fun with sex. (And not like we needed to tell you, but some of this stuff is definitely NSFW.)
New Times: Hi, how's it goin?
Dr. Sonjia: Great! I'm bursting with sexual energy! I'm excited. I'm already a super hyper person, and now, even more!
Tell us about your new book, Sex In South Beach.
The book was created to help people have fun conversations about sex and relationships for more satisfaction between the sheets, and to inspire discussion about pleasure preferences and different ways to play in the bedroom using my own and others' experiences. I believe talking about sex is the fist step to achieve sexual satisfaction.
And you also have the School Of Sensual Satisfaction?
Yes, we're dedicated to helping people achieve fulfillment by making people comfortable in all areas of their sex lives. If you're having sex, you might as well be able to enjoy it. A lot of women aren't having orgasms -- 70%, on a regular basis -- through sex. A lot of that comes from lack of intimate communication.
How do you help that?
Many women think they can't have vaginal orgasms, only clitoral, but if we learn how to work our muscles down there, we can strengthen them to have vaginal orgasms. We go over that that in our Introduction To Private Pleasure course. Sex toys are a great tool, but so is learning your own anatomy. Many women don't know how to pleasure themselves.
Where did you get the stories for the book?
I have a knack for people telling me everything about their intimate life.
What's a tip you can give the people out there?
Men really enjoy a woman who is more in tune with her own sensuality. There's a serum called On For Her that intensifies genital stimulation. You just put it right on her clitoris, or on her finger, or right on the opening of her vagina as well. A lot of people need to get used to receiving pleasure.
For guys, there's a girth enhancing sleeve. Some have ridges, some have vibrators, but it's definitely a different feeling.
Do you ever coach people while they're doing it in front of you?
Before I moved here, I lived in the Cayman Islands. We had packages guiding couples to re-igniting their passion.
Any interesting anecdotes from those days?
There was a man who contacted me who wanted his woman to have better orgasms. They had two children, and he thought she was faking it. He was tempted to have an affair or end the marriage. He came in on his own, bought a few sex toys, and went back, but that didn't quite do it. So he brought her in for a few sessions, and it turned out she felt conflicted in her role as a mother and wife. It opened her up, and when they started having sex again, she was open to toys, and anal, and performing oral sex.
Bet he was pretty grateful. Any others?
One of my first clients had been married to her husband for 10 years and never performed oral sex on him. She needed sex education about hygiene issues, and then I gave her a 30-second routine that she built up into two minutes. Her husband sent me flowers.
As well he should.
There was also a woman getting married whose husband liked anal stimulation with her tongue, which I'm finding out more and more how popular that is. And she just could not get over the odor there. We got him to get waxed and keep baby wipes by the bed and in the bathroom.
What do you think about sex in the ocean?
A lot of people are doing it. It happens all the time. I see condoms all the time on the beach too, which makes me so happy. People are always going to have sex on the beach, so it's when you don't see condoms that it's worrisome.
What is the number one problem people have?
Repressing their desires or not fully exploring them in a healthy way.
Dr. Sonjia's launches Sex in South Beach Saturday, April 21, at 8 p.m. Admission is free.
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