The Wynwood art walk has been sort of a nightmare for a few years now, especially in the summertime with the heat and cheap wine. But lately, even in the winter, it's really a waking nightmare. The whole second Saturday thing has gone from uncomfortable to completely unmanageable. Last month, you spent more time snaking your way through bodies than seeing any art.
Is the art scene going to have to find a new place? Somewhere more out of the yuppie way than Wynwood? We desire a place with better art, recycling, dumpsters, cyclists, and complimentary bevs. Allapattah, anyone? Check out our Wynwood art walk wishlist after the jump.
If you're a litterbug, you're in luck at Wynwood's art walk! Please note that litterbugs are the
grossest people on earth save for sex offenders and Ghaddafi, so let's hope you don't throw trash everywhere. The thing is, art walk's lack of trash cans encourages littering. For all the hard work being done by the actual Women of Wynwood
, you think someone would have bought a few freaking cans. Recycling bins would be nice, but we'll settle for garbage receptacles. With the new food trucks on 22nd Street, it seems the need is even greater than before. After the taco's in your belly, the packaging shouldn't end up on the floor.
So, something kind of horrible happened a few years ago. Many gallerists in Wynwood started discouraging the distribution of free drinks. It's sort of like a complete mindfuck. Why would you not give out cheap wine at an art walk. It encourages young "hip" folks to turn out and create a scene that isn't completely corny. Also, drunk people are more likely to buy art. Remember that scene in Some Kind of Monster when Lars Ulrich sold all of his art after drinking like 10 bottles of champagne. Not the same thing, but the correlation is clear: art and booze are friends. It's a no-brainer. Except for David Castillo Gallery's free vodka drinks, it's like an alcohol wasteland out there.
The traffic on NW 2nd Avenue has become a crime against nature and us. Last month, driving around for a half hour before snagging a spot was not untypical. People, we're certain many of you live within three miles of this monthly event. Can you please buy a bike? We live in Miami, and yes, sometimes it's warm, a lot of times it's really warm, but just carry extra deodorant or a bottle of violetas in your purse. Besides, when you're sweaty, the breeze feels even better on your skin. Leave those cars at home.
Less people we know
Sure, we know a lot of people. Miami's kind of a small place. These days, art walk's become like a walk down memory lane. What? Is that your seventh grade math teacher? Yes, it is! Oh, it's your cousin's babysitter! Kiss, kiss! Too much already. At least if they brought back the wine, we'd have some desire to put up with the crowds and be more inclined to socialize.
Bring a flask, baby powder, and your bike, and we'll see you at art walk on Saturday!
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