Royal Wedding Watch Parties for Miami's Anglophiles and Monarchists

Two Royal Wedding posts in row? Didn't we just call it sickening and suggest vomit bags? Well, dear readers, it seems as though a lot of you care a whole lot about these nuptials. (Here at New Times HQ, we have a robot that roams the halls shouting the most popular Google searches and that dude won't stop muttering royal wedding, royal wedding.)

Plus, we're willing to admit that there's a microscopic part of us that secretly hopes to marry a prince so we can stop blogging for this damn rag. So we mined Miami venues for the best watch parties tomorrow, but frankly, there ain't much. Does Miami give a hoot about Wills and Kate? Is it the obvious lack of a reggaeton halftime show?

It doesn't help that Miami is not a morning city and the Royal Wedding

starts at about 5 a.m. EST. But such an early morning is the price you

pay for your fetishism of posh Anglo culture.

Here are the Miami Royal Wedding watch events, from most awesome to least awesome:

John Martin's Pub gets points for originality and authenticity. The

Coral Gables pub will actually open at 5:45 a.m. to present live

coverage of the Westminster Abbey event. Guests are encouraged to dress

"royal," and there will be a Queen Elizabeth look-alike and Prince

William and Kate cut-outs for plenty of sleepy-eyed but fun photo opps.

The National will broadcast the wedding in their Blues Bar starting at 6

a.m. Get a traditional English breakfast for $24 and whoever dons the

best Kate Middleton hat will receive a complimentary Kir Royal cocktail.

Veronica's Dollhouse: This new boutique in South Miami is holding a tea

party to watch the Royal Wedding and learn British etiquette. As the

party runs from 6 to 9 p.m., it will be a recording of the wedding and

thus anti-climatic.  More surprising will be the etiquette lesson as the

Brits consider it rude to brush one's teeth.

Vizcaya will air the Royal Wedding on a big outdoor screen at their

fundraiser, Evening Under the Stars. Although this is another non-live

replay of the nuptials, the surrounding majestic villa grounds will at

least make the fairytale illusion more visceral.

The Biltmore Hotel is screening live, post-wedding coverage in their

Granada ballroom at 1 p.m. There will be traditional English tea,

pastries, and Champagne. But we have a hunch someone on staff will use the gathering to pitch

the Mediterranean hotel as a choice wedding spot.

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