A great scientist once noted that direct clitoral stimulation is the secret to the female orgasm. His name was Harley Davidson, and he became a very rich man (metaphorically speaking, of course). So while some bikers may waste their time on transportation, motor oil, and the history of the internal combustion engine, everybody knows that motorcycle sales thrive on sex appeal. It’s only fitting that the hottest, wettest city in America has a big festival in store for all fans of tight screws and wild rides. The second-annual South Beach Bike Week takes over Ocean Drive between Eighth and Tenth streets this Labor Day weekend, and it’s gonna be one helluva show. This festival has something for everyone, from vendors, contests, and concerts to hot chicks, cold drinks, and good eats. And if you think you’ve got the coolest bike in town, drop a $25 registration fee and enter to win for best custom, street, vintage, or “bagger” categories, and see if you can walk away with gold. There will also be superlatives for tattoos, bikinis, and Ms. Bike Week. Expect very little clothing, tons of revving engines, and no cover charge. The party goes on each day through Monday from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Call 786-483-7714 or visit southbeachbikeweek.com.
Fri., Aug. 29, 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sat., Aug. 30, 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sun., Aug. 31, 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Mon., Sept. 1, 11 a.m.-7 p.m., 2014