Film & TV

Real Housewives of Miami Season Two: Our Predictions

There is a very good chance that when you watched the Real Housewives of Miami, you thought there was no chance in hell they were getting a another season. Much like their sister show, Miami Social, we thought they were goners for sure -- mainly because, much like Social, the housewives of the Magic City only got six episodes. We assumed that Bravo set things up that way to get out of giving the gals a pink slip.

But nope, we were wrong. The first ladies of the 305 are most definitely getting a season two.

When we interviewed Marysol Patton a few months back, she said she felt her cast lacked "chemistry." We believe even Stevie Wonder saw the fakeness. But with the producers who have brought you Atlanta and New Jersey now taking over Real Housewives of Miami, we believe our city will finally get what it deserves. (And yes, we are saying that without a Housewives franchise, we are practically worthless.)

Filming on season two hasn't started yet -- allegedly, cameras will roll in about six weeks -- but we're already fantasizing about the glitz, the torrid affairs, and the catfights. Here are five things we hope to see in season two:

Yo Habla Español: We reported to you a few months ago that we had heard rumors that Cat Ommanney from Real Housewives of DC

was moving to Miami and joining the cast. Well, we heard from a source

(one who would slap us if we named names) that that is absolutely not

true. Mainly because they are trying to keep the ladies very Miami, AKA

the more Hispanic, the better. So, Lea Black will be Miami's Kim


No More Larsa and Christy: We aren't merely hoping for a lack of Larsa Pipppen and Christy Rice; we know they got the boot. Last week, cast member Adriana De Moura told the Miami Herald, " Larsa [Pippen] and Cristy [Rice]'' are out. Producers didn't want this to go in a Basketball Wives direction. We'll portray Miami the way it should be portrayed.'' Um, says the woman who verbally assaulted Christy during the reunion? Let's move on. While this is great news to us, because those two were terribly boring, it does disappoint us they aren't using Vh1 as their inspiration. Anything on that channel entertains us to levels we aren't fully ready to disclose.

Lea Black's Love Affair With Rick Ross: As you may remember from

season one, Lea Black has quite the list of A-list friends. When we

covered her Black Gala in early 2011, we met everyone from Dionne Warwick

to Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis. But what stood out to the most

was her friendship with Rick Ross. Are we the only ones who would love

to see a little bump and grind action with that glass of milk and

chocolate teddy bear?

Less Marysol Patton, More Mama Patton: We really like Marysol Patton. Even though every article we write about her gets anti-Marysol comments, we have hung out with her multiple times, and she is quite delightful. We'll just assume all of her haters were denied access to one of her fabulous parties. But though we can't wait to have the PR maven back on the show, if producers don't focus 80 percent of programming on her mama Elsa, we are going to be pissed.

Love For Hialeah: If you follow celebrity news like we do, you know that Real Housewife Alexia Echevarria's son, Frankie, was in a terrible car accident early this year. Because of this, De Moura stated in her article to the Miami Herald that she will be with her son in his Atlanta recovery center quite a lot in the coming months -- and that part of her life will most definitely not be filmed. "Hopefully soon she can resume her normal life,'' De Moura says of her friend. "We wouldn't film something so private. The show is superficial, silly, just an escape.'' We think it's safe to assume Echevarria's involvement with the show will be little to nothing. Know what that means? Her comments referring to Hialeah residents as "lower class" will also be little to nothing. Not that we agree, but those Hialeah residents caused a shit storm after that controversy and we loved every minute of it.

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Stacey Russell
Contact: Stacey Russell