Beret-wearing foreign and indie-flick loving hipsters and cinephiles are going to have to find something new to complain about over their cigarettes and black coffee: Miami no longer has a shortage of cool venues in which to watch the obscure screen gems they love.
In fact, we've got five -- five! -- great art house theaters staggered throughout Miami and Miami Beach. There's the Miami Beach Cinematheque; the Coral Gables Art Cinema; The Tower Theater in Little Havana; The Bill Cosford Cinema at University of Miami; and O Cinema in Wynwood.
All of these film houses show great movies in a unique ambiance. But how to know which spot best suits your style? Take our quiz to find out.
1. On a typical Saturday afternoon, what do you find yourself doing?
A. Chuckling at NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! (You're laughing at the contestants because you already know all the answers).
B. Waking up.
C. On your way to brunch with a few of your favorite local foreign diplomats.
D. Enjoying a croissant at a new French bakery and admiring the art on the walls.
E. Playing dominoes by the beach over little cups of rum.
2. Which of these is closest to your ideal film?
A. A documentary about ousting an Ecuadorian dictator and taking him to trial for crimes against humanity, complete with a Q&A with the director after the show.
B. A biopic about Bob Marley.
C. A reprisal of the 1963 Italian classic The Leopard (Il Gattopardo) starring a young Burt Lancaster and Claudia Cardinale.
D. Wim Wenders Pina, a doc comprised mostly of mesmerizing choreography from the late German dance maven of the same name, shown in 3-D.
E. An Israeli film about a stern and competitive academic who is mortified to mistakenly be given a major prize that was actually intended for his son.
3. What do you like to eat and drink while watching your favorite flicks?
A. Pizza and water from your Nalgene, or anything you discover in the bottom of your backpack.
B. A cheap PBR. What's "eating?"
C. Coffee. You'll get cocktails and tapas on Lincoln Road after the show.
D. A glass of vino. You don't want to distract any other viewers with your chewing.
E. A $2 pack of candy and a $1 soda.
4. At a huge party, which group are you most likely to get caught up schmoozing with?
A. A smattering of down-to-earth but well-read academic types.
B. Local filmmakers and performance artists.
C. The owner of a decades-old South Florida newspaper and a city commissioner of Miami Beach.
D. A local couple who just got back from their trip to Europe.
E. Some hard-core lovers of Miami history and culture with the knowledge to back up their affection.
5. Which animal do you most identify with?
A. An ibis.
B. An alien. (Okay, it's not an animal, but you don't like playing by rigid rules.)
C. A flamingo.
D. A honeybee. They pick up little samples of all the sweet local color.
E. A whale. They're strong, smart, and they migrate all over the world.
Read on for your results.
If you chose mostly As:
You'll fit in great at the Bill Cosford Cinema at the University of Miami. In attendance at this comfy and relatively large theater is a mix of students and local residents in the know. They show a lot of informative and relevant films from across the globe. Coming up this weekend: Cannes favorite The Kid With A Bike, and Oscar nominee The Descendants.
If you chose mostly Bs:
You'll be right at home at O Cinema in Wynwood. This young theater has already made a name for itself as a haven for local artists, and hosts lots of special events like meetings of the local Indie Film Club and the recent Rakontur 10-year retrospective, which featured the docs of local filmmakers extraordinaire, Billy Corben and Alfred Spellman (including a remix of Cocaine Cowboys and The U), complete with special guests from the media et. al. The building itself is a work of art, adorned with a huge colorful mural of curious aliens casting their eyes out at passersby. Coming up this weekend: The Trouble With Bliss, starring Michael C. Hall, and a spooky showing of German gore flick The Burning Moon.
If you chose mostly Cs:
The beautiful Miami Beach Cinematheque is the place for you. Recently renovated and conveniently located in the heart of South Beach, the MBC is home to the Miami Beach Film Society, the base for the Sicilian Film Festival, and a hub for newly restored classic films, shown in crisp HD. Coming up this weekend: The Kid With A Bike, and selections from Sicily.
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If you chose mostly Ds:
You're destined to become a regular at the Coral Gables Art Cinema. This comfortable, quaint theater in the middle of town has an incredible knack for picking high-caliber art films before they blow up and get nominated for Oscars and the like. They show an eclectic mix of curiosities and solid indie films from directors around the world, and they host a variety of hip special events, complete with catering and cocktails. They also have nifty yellow plastic glasses so you can catch every jutting object of their plentiful 3-D film offerings. Coming up this weekend: Monsieur Lazhar, a modern Canadian classic that debuts at the cinema with a red carpet event boasting Bacardi cocktails and bites from area restaurants.
If you chose mostly Es:
The Tower Theater in Little Havana is your theater of choice. This historic theater, in partnership with Miami Dade College, has become a hub for award-winning and mind-opening films from across the globe. Though located in a heavily Cuban area, the cinema's not at all limited to showing Spanish-language films, but in fact hosts a cross-cultural milieu. This month alone they'll screen powerful flicks from China, Israel, and France, for example. Coming up this weekend: The Flowers of War, a Chinese film starring Christian Bale, and Footnote, an Israeli film nominated this year for a Best Foreign Language Oscar.
And if your answer sheet looks like alphabet soup? Well, you'd better start penciling a comprehensive Miami art cinema tour onto your calendar.