Now maybe we're weird, but isn't this kind of stat collecting kinda creepy? It's a little like measuring and remeasuring a piece of fine furniture while smiling and drooling and breathing funny, then taking off your pants and whipping out your Texas Instrument to calculate the perfection of the piece's proportions.
Anyway, Cultist wanted to know more about this Miami girl than just her body measurements. So we got her on the phone. See the cut for some personal tidbits, a video, and a few Playboy pics.
Birth of a Bunny: Francesca hails from Puerto de la Cruz in Venezuela, a little tropical paradise where petroleum and babes are abundant. Even though she lives in Miami now, she visits her birthplace three times per year. From an American perspective, the country seems to be a chaotic socialist terrordome. But Francesca says it's no big deal. Her family's home base is far enough from President Hugo Chavez and the capital city that life is still just a pleasure trip full of boating and swimming and rollerblading.
Daddy's Business: The Frigo family deals in petrochemicals. In the Playboy profile, they allude rather vaguely to the fact that Francesca's father owns an oil company. But she clarifies: Papi's actually the proprietor of an oil transport firm. When pressed for further corporate information, Francesca balks. She doesn't really want to name her daddy's company because Chavez might try to take it away.
Familial Verdict: A few of Francesca's aunts and other family members have peeped the centerfold and their assessment is that the naked pics are classy and beautiful. As of today, though, Mom and Dad haven't seen their daughter's full spread because apparently Venezuela's 7-11s don't carry the American edition of Playboy. (Another strike against the Chavez regime.) But Tia Frigo will be smuggling a couple copies back home. Freedom lives!
Dog Lady: Some people collect coins, Francesca collects canines. She has two rottweilers, a chihuahua named Taco, and a yorkie. "Yes, it's crazy," she admits. "But I love them." No word on whether Francesca plans to expand her brood to Brangelina-sized proportions. But already the numbers have caused problems. She used to live in a condo on South Beach, but she just recently moved to Coconut Grove. Why? She needed a house 'cause she's got four freaking dogs.
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Big Girl, Bigger City: Originally Francesca's dad sent her to Miami at 16 so she could study international business, then return home to run the family oil empire. Instead, she got sick of school after a semester and focused on other stuff. "It gave me the opportunity to experience all the things I hadn't had a chance to experience as a kid because I had grown up in such a small town," Francesca says in Playboy.
Now, since this is Vice City, we took "experiences" to mean coke benders and group sex. But we were way off base. The way Francesca tells it, she couldn't leave home in Venezuela without a male escort because there was some very dangerous shit in the streets. Her idea of a wild night in Miami: a girls' night minus an entourage of big beefy Venezualan bodyguards, pumping her own gas, and partying past midnight. Man, we know Amish chicks who've done way worse.
The Hefner Enigma: "He's a lot of fun. He's so cute." Wait ... Is she talking about one of her dogs?
Check out Francesca's nudie photos in the August issue of Playboy. It's available now. You can also visit club.playboy.com.