Pepe Billete's Open Letter to Lil Wayne

Dear Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr.,

Acere, it looks like it's time for you to start re-evaluating your public image and the legacy you're going to leave behind for your kids to follow. Right now, as far as the human race goes, you're a step below una cucaracha con trensas. In the past five years alone, you've managed to turn every group from women to midgets against you, yet somehow you still haven't realized what's blatantly obvious to the rest of us: that you've become the architect of your own demise.

Normally I would have offered you a bit of pingu advice to help you realize the error of your ways, but since you've managed to insult my team, my city, and my people, I'm going to help you turn your slow descent into irrelevance into a plummet that's going to make the Red Bull Space Jump look like a ride at the Dade County Youth Fair.

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Miami New Times staff