Ah, St. Patrick's Day. A time to guzzle green beer and get rowdy like it's 1992 and you're auditioning for a House of Pain video. There are several primo Irish pubs to choose from when it comes to St. Paddy's Day celebrations, each offering entertainment, traditional grub, and kegs of emerald-dyed brew. At JohnMartin's Restaurant & Irish Pub (253 Miracle Mile, Coral Gables; 305-445-3777) feast on Gaelic steak, shepherd's pie, and homemade Bailey's ice cream for dessert. Salzedo Street and Aragon Avenue will be closed off for a street fair that starts at 4:00 p.m. and features live music and boozy merriment. The Playwright Irish Pub & Restaurant (1265 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-534-0667) will paint South Beach green with a block party on Thirteenth Street, complete with dancers, bagpipers, and Irish stew. Sure, Churchill's (5501 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807) is a British establishment, but they're offering Irish action with specials on select whiskeys and Guinness, and five rockin' local bands. Down in Kendall, the Irish Tavern & Grill (13067 SW 112th St., Miami; 305-382-1516) is pitching a 60-foot tent to throw its traditional shindig, with tunes, brewskis, prizes, and giveaways. (PEGY)

FRI 18

In the shadow of last year's nipple incident, this year's Super Bowl commercials were less than lackluster. As a matter of fact, they sucked. There were no standouts like Reebok's Terry Tate, the Office Linebacker ("You kill the Joe, you make some mo'!") or's "When I grow up" children ("I want to be a yes-man."). Tonight you can fill the void with 230 of the funniest and most creative international commercials (with convenient English subtitles). Alliance Française, the General Consulate of Canada, and the Miami Museum of Science and Planetarium (3280 S. Miami Ave., Miami) present the Ad-Eaters Night, three hours of nonstop commercials for common and crazy products from around the world. Don't forget your reading glasses tonight at 7:00 at the museum. Admission is $10 for students, $15 for Alliance and museum members, and $20 for everyone else. Call 305-859-8760 for reservations, or visit (LO)

SAT 19

Everyone loves dog shows. Ratings were up for the 2005 Westminster Dog Show, bringing in 3.8 million viewers over two days. But what about those darn cats? At this weekend's Paws Over Miami Cat Show, the felines will have their day. Judges will poke, stroke, and evaluate breeds including Siamese, Russian Blue, Sphynx, and Ragdoll (not to be confused with Ragamuffin, mind you). Household pets will also be competing for titles such as longest whiskers, most unusual tail, biggest ears (no cheating by bringing a rabbit!), and best polydactyl (extra toes, that is). Stretch, scratch, and slink your way to the Radisson Mart Plaza, 711 NW 72nd Ave., Miami, from 10:00 am. to 4:00 p.m. today and Sunday. Spectator admission is $5 for students and seniors, $7 for adults, and $20 for a family of four. Bring a can of cat food and save one dollar. Call 954-408-5155, or visit (LO)

SUN 20

Ask any fisherman worth his salt and he'll tell you some of the freshest and most delicious seafood in the world can be caught off the Florida Keys. At the 23rd annual Marathon Seafood Festival you can taste the best. While you meander past booth after booth of freshly caught fishy delicacies, you can also enjoy live music, a nautical flea market, and a boat show. Today, between 10:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m., head bayside to the Florida Keys Marathon Airport, mile marker 51. Admission is four dollars, which allows you to enter the Chest of Seafood giveaway, which entitles the winner to $200 of free seafood from Keys Fisheries. Call 305-743-5417, or visit (PEGY)

MON 21

Monday night usually means coming home tired from that first day of the work week, and going to bed early. If you say, "Screw that, I wanna party," you need to check out Fire Mondays. This Caribbean jamdown offers the heat and grinding stickiness of an authentic Jamaican dancehall in the plush setting of a chic lounge. Well-respected sound systems from Jamaica, New York, and Trinidad face off in what's called a 45 clash, demonstrating their DJ skills by spinning menacing reggae records meant to destroy the credibility of their rivals. Jamaican cuisine such as curry crabcakes, jerk chicken, and oxtail stew is available until 4:00 a.m., and there are bottle specials to be enjoyed all night. Get hot, hot, hot at the Kola Nut Café, 250 NE 183rd St., Miami Gardens. Cover charge starts at five dollars. Call 305-405-1000, or visit (PEGY)

TUE 22

The talking baby has provided a quick and easy laugh for big-screen Hollywood jokemeisters for years. Where would the writers of Look Who's Talking and Baby Geniuses be without this never-fail sight gag? Now the phenomenon has crept onto the small screen in the form of Baby Bob, the star of those quirky Quiznos commercials. If you think it would be adorable to see your little snookums on television, promoting delicious oven-toasted submarine sandwiches, get on over to the Quiznos's "Go Hollywood, Baby!" casting call. If your baby is between four and eighteen months and loves to smile, gurgle, and coo, he or she might be featured in an upcoming commercial alongside Baby Bob. The chosen infant will also receive a $30,000 college fund. Crawl on over between 8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. to the ballroom of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, 500 Brickell Key Dr., Miami. Visit (PEGY)

WED 23

Hey! Why are all those children in costumes and masks getting candy? It's not Halloween. But it is the Jewish holiday Purim, and it's a fun one. The holiday commemorates the brave Queen Esther's deliverance of the Jews from the hands of the evil Haman (Boooo! Hiss! Rattle!). Every time the evil one's name is mentioned during the reading of the Megillah (the Book of Esther), partygoers howl and twirl graggers, or noisemakers. The Jewish Museum of Florida (301 Washington Ave., Miami Beach) invites the public to enjoy an evening of dancing to the classic klezmer band Traditions, mask-making, and a dinner buffet of tasty kosher delights. Get ready to shake your noisy makers tonight at 7:00. Admission for museum members is $18 for adults, $7 for children, and $50 for families; nonmembers pay $28, $10, and $75. Children under age 12 are free. Call 305-672-5044 ext. 12, or visit (LO)

By Lyssa Oberkreser and Patrice Elizabeth Grell Yursik

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.