4
| Lists |

New Headphones From Jersey Shore's Pauly D and 50 Cent: Five Features We'd Love to See

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

50 Cent has officially lost his street credibility.

In a shocking move, the entertainment mogul has announced a partnership with Jersey Shore star Paul DelVecchio to "develop a full line of headphones."

When he's not (allegedly) picking up STDs 'round the Jersey shore, DelVecchio--best known by his 13-year-old fans and fist-pumping bros as Pauly D--can be found in the DJ booth spinning records. The spray-tanned dude's been DJing since he was 16 and recently signed to 50 Cent's new label G-Note Records.

Details surrounding the headphones won't be available until the second quarter of this year. But if this product is going to adorn the heads (and necks?) of the Jersey Shore elite, we've come up with a few suggested features that could really seal the deal.

Jersey Shore Hood Rat Noise-Canceling Option

Dogs barking, children crying, obese folks chewing -- anything but the sound of Jersey Shore hood rats yapping, please. In a perfect world, the orangey gals of Seaside Heights would come equipped with a mute button. Sadly, we live in an imperfect society and have to depend on modern technology to block out unwanted noise.

Available in Black, Blue, White and Spray Tan

A touch of gold, peppered with a little orange and a dash of skin cancer -- getting the spray tan pigment just right on a pair of $300 headphones is going to prove quite challenging. But so what? Nothing matches an Ed Hardy workout shirt better than Mystic Tan-colored headphones at the gym. Hell, Pauly D could even team up with his castmate, The Situation, who just launched his own line of spray tanner.

Tanning Bed Safe

Two hours locked inside a tanning bed can be really fucking boring without an LMFAO soundtrack. But iPhone ear buds don't cut it. Pauly D's buds, on the other hand, were meant for this shit.

Hair Gel Compatible

We're guessing Pauly D's target demographic is made up of jacked dudes with mad hair product. He has to make sure that his headphones don't interfere with those LA Looks blowouts. No one wants a flaky DJ with messed up hair.

Teen Mom Approved

Why? Because Pauly's an MTV-team player.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.