We suppose the homeless herds who graze in South Beach's Lummus Park -- a small stretch of greenery that separates Ocean Drive from the actual ocean -- are going to have to pack up their shopping carts and loiter elsewhere from 1 to 4 p.m. on Wednesday. Victoria's Secret's PINK "Beach Bash 2011" is swinging into town for spring break and they've claimed Lummus as their turf. Don't believe them? They're plopping a makeshift "PINK Swim Shack" (no homeless, it's not for bathing or shacking up purposes) on site. But who cares about displaced social outcasts when there's PINK products to be pushed, pills that need to be cleverly dropped into unprotected drinks, and awful tan lines to create?
The party will be hosted by Victoria Secret PINK models Behati Prinsloo...who looks
like this:
and Chanel Iman, who looks like this:
....so we're sure all
the puka shell necklace and tropical broad short wearing bros in the
area will be in attendance. For the gals, the event's serving up VIP
guests Ben Nemtin, Dave Lingwood, and Duncan Penn from MTV's The Buried
Life -- a show that's one part reality, two parts ripping off The Bucket
List and My Name Is Earl.
So guys get super hot models and the girls get three dudes from an unoriginal reality show? Gee, thanks.
Apparently, as DJ Irie pumps up the crowd with Irie-esque music,
the models, the reality dudes, and some volunteers from the audience
will be to be engaging in friendly competitions and festivities a la
Spring Break. And what exactly are these competitions and SB
festivities? We're not sure, but we're hoping it includes a homeless wet
T-Shirt contest.
This event will only be open for members of PINK Nation, a free online
program for fanatics of PINK -- a lifestyle collection for young women
who like having the word PINK plastered across their asses. For tickets,
sign up for PINK Nation or text MIAMI to 877465 for
the latest details.