The Miss Universe Pageant returned to Miami last night, and it was everything you expected it to be. Which is to say: leggy women wearing way too much makeup while strutting and smiling and showing off their bikini bodies in the name of national pride.
The pageant may be a relic from the era of The Feminine Mystique, but that hasn't kept it out of hot water this year. Miss Lebanon and Miss Israel caused a scandal when they were photographed together at an event last week. And Florida International University's decision to sink more than a half-million dollars into its arena to lure the pageant to Doral didn't go over so well with the faculty, the alumni, and the Miami community at large.
So was last night's pageant equally scandalous? Nope. But there were still a few memorable (read: awkward, hilarious, and downright infuriating) moments that your officemates will talk about this morning. Here's your guide to keeping up.
See also: Photos from Miss Universe 2015